Hello gang! Once again, some news and notes, but first this correction:

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AND THE NOMINEES ARE
Due to the fact that I can't read a calendar, I issued my Oscar nomination challenge a week earlier. Nominations are due out this coming Tuesday, 2/12/2002, so anyone wishing to get their nominees in please submit them no later then midnight on the 11th. Thanks.

THIS FILM HAS NOT YET BEEN TITLED
Let me join Matt in congratulating the New England Patriots for their HUGE upset victory over the Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI. There were some great commercials. Among my faves were the Barry Bonds/Hank Aaron retirement spot, the M&M "chocolate on your pillow" spot and, of course, ANYTHING that highlighted Miss Britney Spears! Among the movie spots, the "Spider-Man" kicked ass. Did you see the "Austin Powers" spot? Did you notice that the movie had no title? As reported in last week's issue (once again proving that we ARE the entertainment inside information place to be), MGM and New Line Pictures were in a squabble over the right to call the film, "Goldmember," a take off on the James Bond classic, "Goldfinger." Knowing they held all the cards, and showing me they have no faith at all in the drawing power of Bruce Willis, MGM reportedly told New Line they would consider allowing the title to stand if New Line agreed to NOT release the upcoming Denzel Washington film, "John Q," on it's scheduled release date of February 15th, which also is the day that Willis' war picture, "Harts War," opens. Not one to be blackmailed, New Line said no. Poor MGM. Every few years they put out a James Bond film, then spend the rest of the time putting out crap, like this week's "Rollerball" remake. They don't make them like they used to. Which probably explains this next item....................

YO, ADRIAN! WE'RE ON BROADWAY
Many years ago, Matt made fun of me because I had written a song for a girl that somehow mentioned the film, "Rocky." I can't even begin to remember what I wrote, but I know that to this day he still throws it up to me. Who knew then that I was ahead of my time. The aforementioned MGM has confirmed that they are looking to turn "The Pink Panther," "Moonstruck" and "Rocky" into musicals, hoping to follow in the footsteps of "The Producers" and "The Lion King." What about "Gone With The Wind?" I'd love to see a huge production number entitled, "I Don't Know Nothin' About Birthin' Babies!" And you could stage it in a different deserted building every night, so when the burn Atlanta they can BURN ATLANTA. Frankly, my dears, I don't give a damn!

CLARIFICATION PLEASE
Always great to hear from Rick Sousa. My question is does he want our top ten comics (Superman, Archie, R. Crumb's SNATCH) or comics (Steve Martin, Craig Shoemaker, Robin Williams)? (Ha ha, I never thought of that! Rick meant Superman, Archie, SNATCH and the like, yes. Stand-up comics we'll do some other time.---Nolan)

THE CHAINSAW ALONE WILL COST $50 MILLION
Tobe Hooper is currently updating his original script of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" to be directed by none other then Michael Bay, the man behind such excess as "Armageddon" and "Pearl Harbor." I can't wait to hear Terence's take on this.

MOVING ON
Harold Russell, who received two Academy Awards for his portrayal of a wounded war veteran in "The Best Years Of Our Lives," died of a heart attack last week at the age of 88. While working as an explosives expert in 1944, a defective fuse exploded a charge of TNT he was holding, causing both hands to be amputated. Producer Sam Goldwyn saw Russell in an Army documentary, "Diary of a Sergeant," and asked him to play Homer Parrish in "The Best Years of Our Lives." The 1946 film won seven Academy Awards, including Best Picture, Director for William Wyler and Best Actor for Fredric March. Russell actually received two Oscars for the film: one as Best Supporting Actor and a second, special Oscar for "bringing aid and comfort to disabled veterans through the medium of motion pictures."
David W. Barry, the scientist who helped develop the first AIDS treatment, died Monday at age 58. Barry was best known as a co-developer of the drug AZT, and devised the "cocktail" treatment of using more than one drug to fight the infection. AZT has been shown to cut the risk of AIDS transmission from mother to child in half and is used worldwide.

I HAVE AN EXTRA COUCH
What is it about Tonya Harding that drives me crazy? Is it the bleached blonde hair? The way she wears way too much eye shadow? The creativity and flexibility she displayed on the ice................and in her homemade video? I'll say all of the above. This past week, Harding and her manager were evicted from their riverfront home in Camas, Washington, having owed over $4500 in unpaid rent. Harding, you may recall, was banned for life by the U.S. Figure Skating Committee after admitting to helping to cover-up her then husbands' attack on skating rival Nancy Kerrigan before the 1994 U.S. National Championships. Which reminds me...............the Olympics start this Friday. USA! USA! USA!

EVEN STUPIDER FLORIDIAN
OK, so the guy chopped his neighbor's head. Not bad. But I can top that for stupidity! A Muslim woman is suing the state of Florida for suspending her driver's license because she wouldn't remove her veil for a full-face photograph. "I don't show my face to strangers or unrelated males," said Sultaana Freeman, 34. Guess what, babe. Then you don't drive! I can only imagine a convoy of terrorists driving around the country wearing veils. They get stopped by the police for speeding, and show them a license which looks like it belongs to Batman.................a black hood with just two eyes sticking out. Not only that, this "veil" looks more like Boba Fett's helmet..........just a slit for her to see out of. How in the hell is she able to drive safely in this thing? Ever hear of peripheral vision? Checking your side mirrors? Changing lanes? And I wish someone would explain this whole "cover your face" thing to me. Up until they are married, Muslim women are allowed to bare all, but once they're married they can only show their eyes?!?! I'm awaiting a reply. (Good call, Mike. Yes, I heard about this one, too, and it should've been on the PCR frontpage with the machete man. The salient point of her story was the suit against the state of Florida for discrimination---didn't take her long to discover the joys of capitalism, did it?---Nolan)

Well, that's it for this week. Get those Oscar nominations in early! See ya!