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American International Pictures and Sunset Productions Presented by: James H. Nicholson and Samuel Z. Arkoff Produced and Directed by: Roger Corman Story by: David P. Harmon Screenplay by: Charles H. Griffith Featuring Music by: The Platters, The Blockbusters, and Nora Hayes | |
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Shorty................DICK MILLER Jigger................RUSSELL JOHNSON Julie..................ABBY DALTON Sir Bop..............MEL WELLES With: | |
| Run Time: 62 minutes Black & White | |
Rock On With Your Bad Self! Rock N' Roll Will Never Die, I Dig It To The End! Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock N' Roll High School! Long Live Rock, I Need It Every Day! Come On and Stay with Me Awhile and Rock Steady! I Wanna Rock! Rock! I Wanna Rock! Rock! I Wanna Rock N' Roll All Night, And Party Every Day! And It Don't Bother Me If People Think I'm Funny---Cuz I'm A Big-A Rock Star And I Make-A Lots of Money! Money! Money! Money! Just Give Me Some of That Rock N' Roll Music, Any Ol' Way You Choose It! Keep On A-Rockin' Me Baby! Keep On A-Rockin' Me Baby! Keep On A-Rockin' Me Baby! Keep On A-Rockin Me Baby! Baby, Baby, Baby! Keep on Rockin', Rockin' Me Baby! If There's A Rock N' Roll Heaven, They Must Have One Hell of a Band! This is a truly enjoyable look, a la "Female Jungle", of what we were a half a century ago. Oh and yes, Dick Miller is so Cool!
Favorite Lines:
Almost anything out of Baby Bop's pie-hole is a riot, but Jigger Tonic has a classic with "You know, cops are stupid! I musta met a thousand cops, and they're all stupid!"
And this is "The Livin' End" of our review!
What could be more All-American than hot dogs, hamburgers, mom and apple pie? Rock N' Roll! This musical form has persisted for close to fifty years in America's popular culture and has indelibly written its contributions into the book of life known as American history. In "Rock All Night", we go back into time when this cultural force was in its infancy, when it was still relatively innocent and pure.
After the introduction credits to the movie, featuring the Blockbusters movie title song "Rock All Night", along with some of the best graphics this side of Daniel Clowes, we pan to the scene of a classic '50's car pulling up to the valet of the swank and upscale "Ye Old Rocke" nightclub. Inside all the men, with the exception of one, are decked out in suits and ties. That one is social misfit and troublemaker "Shorty", played by character actor Dick Miller. To sum it up, "Shorty" is the only genuine character in the flick, and he's cool (daddy-o), so we'll simply call him "Cool". Splash immediately to the Platters who perform "He's Mine", followed by the harmonious tune, "I'm Sorry".
As Cool continues to get comforted by his alcohol, next table resident and drunkard Charlie, played by Bruno Ve Sota (Not him again! See "Female Jungle" and "Attack of the Giant Leeches" for more about this fat stooge), starts getting into a heated argument with Cool. "Sit some place else, ya botha me fatty!" exclaims Cool to the inebriated fatty fat fatso. Too drunk to fight, the inebriated fatty fat fatso asks the foofy French lounge owner to toss Cool out. Utilizing the services of a bouncer, Cool is tossed out the door and the Blacque Jacque Schillacque of Rocque threatens violence, to which Cool responds, "Break whose head ya phony Frenchman?" Dick Miller is so Cool!
On the po' side of town at Al's Cloud Nine Bar, we pan to Sir Bop (who looks like a cross between Colonel Sanders and Baby Bop in a beat outfit---we'll call him, er, uh-Baby Bop! Yeah, that's the ticket!) who strolls up to a car filled with an attractive young blonde girl named Julie, and about fifty other guys. Julie, who can't carry a tune in a bucket, and as a result is hereinafter known as whigger rapper Ton Def. Here we get an incredible sampling of Baby Bop's beat jive--"Cool baby, cool. The Blockbusters are blowin' an instrumental, but in about an eighth of a lick I'll swing ya in there and you can wail for all them cats and you'll really gas em baby, you'll really gas em ("gas em"?)!" You might also remember Baby Bop actor Mel Welles described in my review of the 1980 movie "Dr. Heckyl and Mr. Hype".
Inside Al's, a couple are dancing a conniption fit to the Blockbusters. Sitting at the bar is the consumately disinteresting and borrrr-ing news reporter Steve (herein after known as "Brown from the Sun"). As the audience can't take that anymore, we pan back out to the car with Ton Def and her fifty-thousand mirth-making musicians. Ton Def is hoping that Baby Bop is right when he says that she'll "gas em"---"I hope you're right!" "Right? I'm also straight, if I ain't straight it means I ain't with it, and tonight baby, I'm with it!" spoken in true Bop-ese.
Back inside Al's, Baby Bop is snapping his fingers to the Blockbusters rendition of "Go Ahead!". At the end of the song we hear more Baby Bop beat jive as he states, "That was the infinite, that was the livin', rompin', stompin', whippin', flippin', non-stop end, that's what it was daddy!" With that, the Blockbusters break into their next song, "Rock N' Roll" Guitar" where the lead vocalist screams "He plays it high, he plays it low, He's the guitar man that can go! go! go!" At the end of the gig Baby Bop asks Al, "Do you want these wild cats? They're the maddest mess of music ever!"
Brown from the Sun looks on as the Blockbusters wind down and boringly tells Al that he could use a good human-interest story. Better yet, he could just use being more interesting. Suddenly, in walks Cool, along with a truck driver, dressed like a longshoreman, along with his girlfriend. With rocks in her stomach (her words, not mine), Ton Def again nervously asks Baby Bop, "What if I'm bad? What if I'm just terrible?" to which in his best (or worst) Baby Bop beat jive in the movie, he retorts, "Bad? Terrible? Why kiddie, you're the queen, you're the swingin' most, you're the tip top troposcope of the flip!" One of the five hundred musicians in the car with her chimes in, "Don't worry kid, those squares don't know the difference between Dinah Washington and the Washington Monument!"
Next we pan to Baby Bop and Ton Def strutting into Al's for Def's audition. With the Blockbusters on backup, Ton Def does a lousy rendition of the Nora Hayes song "I Guess I Won't Hang Around Here Anymore", which has this annoyingly obnoxious chorus repeat the line "Her man is gone! Her man is gone!" The eyes of the patrons of Al's bar start rolling followed by uncontrolled flatulation at Def's atrocious singing. "Crazy baby, wild!" is all that Baby Bop can muster after Ton Def's caterwauling. "Look, she was BAD! That doesn't mean she can't sing once she gets over bein' nervous!" says Cool. Almost immediately the members of the Blockbusters announce that "Sorry girl, we gotta catch a train, see ya later next time (yeah, right, how many times have I used that line when I wanted to get out of a bad situation?)!" This leaves Ton with even more self-doubt and guzzling down Al's beers like a '68 Dodge Charger with a 426 V8 HEMI guzzles gasoline. Cool gets on to Baby Bop for exploiting Ton Def to which Brown from the Sun asks Al, "Why is it the little guys always wanna pick a fight?" to which Al responds "I'm a bartender, not a philospher!"
After swilling Al's swell beer, Ton Def gets her courage up and gives it another try, this time with the five thousand musicians that were in the car outside of Al's. "Lay down something real groovy--you lay it down and Julie will pick it up!" Baby Bop tells the musicians. He then turns to Ton def and exhorts "The court musicians await your flipness ("your flipness?")!" Well, sad to say, Ton Def still sucks, Cool gets more gassed and she then breaks down and cries. Meanwhile in walks a threesome of Marty the Boxing Manager, Lester the Human Piranha, and Sue the Long Suffering Girl Friend. Sue does not want Lester to get into boxing (that was real big stuff in the fifties--I mean REAL big!) much to the chagrin of Lester. Always one for color commentary, Cool warns Marty that "He's gonna chicken on ya!"
Two young white hoodlums run into Al's while sirens start blaring outside. One of the hooligans is the main bad guy named "Jigger", played by veteran actor Russell Johnson, who played the Professor on Gilligan's Island. So you don't confuse the Professor with this mean character, he will hereinafter be known as "Jigger Tonic". Next walks in Jerry the Knee Cap Breaker who Al pays for protection. Sensing imminent doom, Baby Bop suggests to Ton Def that "Like lets splitsville--these sad drags don't wanna be late for that 25-cent gig at the Swinghouse!" Instead, Ton Def chooses to sulk at the Cloud Nine with the remaining lovers and muggers and thieves. Not long after that Jerry the Knee Cap Breaker shouts at Cool, "You little punks give me a laugh!" to which Cool responds, "You big guys give me nuthin!" Dick Miller is so Cool!
An excitable boy named Phillipe runs in and blabs to all present about the horrendous crime he just saw perpetrated by none other than....Jigger Tonic! The cat is out of the bag! Jigger Vodka shoots down poor Phillipe as he tries running away from the scene. Tonic then has his henchman, Joey, put money in the jukebox and forces Ton Def at gunpoint to sing to make the police outside think that nothing unusual is going on inside the Cloud Nine (although Al locked the doors). The maniacal droning of "Her man is gone! Her man is gone!" starts as Def starts trilling like a tutonic titmouse. Well her fear of crowds has been cured, but now she's faced with a new fear: death!
The movie synopsis and review of "Rock All Night" is ©2003 by William Moriaty. "Schlockarama™" is a part of Crazed Fanboy™ dotcom and all contents are ©2003 by Nolan B. Canova