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Nolan's Newsstand
Tampa, Florida
My personal headlines and those of the crazed fan community!
All the sickly news I have to print! A newsletter and magazine in one.                         Publisher and Editor, Nolan B. Canova
Vol. 1, No. 9     This edition is for the week of May 15--21, 2000
May Sweeps Madness: Brady-mania, X-Files, 90210, Friends, Linda McCartney, the list goes on...
  I can't tell if it gets better or worse every year. Or what time of the year is more of a bloodbath.  I think I finally decided it's this time--in May--because these final ratings may have an influence on whether a series returns for the Fall season.
 I sure didn't count on "Brady-mania" leading the way!  Take this week's "unauthorized" bio-pic, "Unauthorized Brady Bunch: The Final Days". The ads have all the solemn seriousness of a Kennedy asassination documentary.
 It (allegedly) depicts the final week of shooting of the final episode of the final season.  All eyes seem to be on the Robert Reed character as he is having some (barely explainable) nervous breakdown about the "lack of serious artistic quality" of the Brady scripts. Like he picks now to have his attitude. Robert Reed's strange behavior has been chronicled elsewhere, so this part seems familiar to the audience, expected even.
  The hysterically funny parts of this bio are watching the kids in  never-ending necking sessions off the set. And the "date" Barry Williams had with Florence Henderson--when he wasn't tracking Maureen McCormick (Marcia). The "pairing off" of the young actors was always rumored, but routinely denied. I guess the proximity of all those hot hormones to each other makes some sexual horseplay a forgone conclusion in the insular world of series TV. (I believe the present-day attitudes of the females involved is still to deny everything.)
 In the end "Robert Reed" holds his ground and would not appear on the final episode (Greg's graduation). His continuing to hang around the set makes the producers bristle with anger. Reed's homosexuality appears (in this portrayal) to emphasize his "bitchiness."
 To be fair, there is a disclaimer at the top of the show stating that they were going to play fast and loose with the chronology. That they did.  They basically crammed several years of encounters and personal problems into one week's time. Time is of the essence, you see, because next Sunday night is another Brady-bio, this time based on Barry Williams book, "Growing up Brady."  If you haven't had enough Brady so far, you can look forward to that.
  I didn't catch last Sunday's "X-Files", unfortunately. It looked pretty cool--described as a "three wishes" ep., but I wasn't home in time.  How was it?
  For next Sunday's "X-Files" I don't care what I'm doing, I'm watching that. Described as a maybe yes, maybe no season/series(?) finale. Will put the show on a different track to allegedly allow the producers to continue possibly without David Duchovny's returning as Fox Mulder¹ (his contract's up). Gillian Anderson's contract isn't up for another year, but she's already balked at returning without Duchovny. So, anything can happen. This Sunday's episode also features the Cigarette-Smoking Man (like they could have a finale without him?), Alex Krycek, and a character from Mulder and Scully's first case together. Aliens still fit in the picture, somehow.
  I was never a fan of "90210", so I skipped the much-ballyhooed series finale.  Not my generation, but I bet it had great ratings.
  As I'm writing this (Thursday morning, 5-18) I'm wondering why I need to see the "Friends" 1-hour finale, and yet, I know I will. I got hooked on it during the "Ross/Rachael" years and have been following it ever since. Well, OK, not hooked, mind you...more just following. Since Chandler's on the verge of proposing to Monica, I have to rate it as a keeper. Oh, God, I'm so embarassed. Tom Selleck returns as her past love interest. Somebody shoot me! I'll succumb. Probably review it here.²
  Which leaves us with arguably the biggest contrivance of the bunch: The Linda McCartney Story. (Sunday night, 9:00pm, across from everything else.) It's already gotten a bad advance review from TV Guide. Appears to touch on all the expected "hot spots" without going to any any depth (kinda like the Brady thing above). Think I'll pass on this entirely.
 ¹ A few hours after I wrote this, it was announced that Duchovny would indeed return for another season of X-Files; however, he will not appear in every episode.
 ² OK, I've seen the season finale "Friends" episode now.  It's Sunday morning as I write this; I tried to do this Friday morning, but my system crashed--again.  Yes, I was a blubbering idiot at the end when Chandler proposed to Monica and she accepted. Close call with Tom Selleck, eh?  Ross broke up with his teenage girlfriend.  And now Ross & Rachael and Joey & Pheobe have agreed to marry each other if no one has yet by the time they're 40.  But the Chandler/Monica thing was well done.  OK, I'm done.
Letters and Commentary featuring "Mike's Rants" and "Matt's Rails"


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