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Nolan's Newsstand
Tampa, Florida
My personal headlines and those of the crazed fan community!
Holy strawberries, Batman!  Are we in a jam!
   Editor and Publisher, Nolan B. Canova
Vol. 1, No. 14.  This edition is for the week of June 26---July 2, 2000
Monkees mania hits VH1. "Pre-fab 4" still a draw.
South Park and NAMBLA
  I sort of lost enthusiasm for writing this review because of the delay, but I don't want to sell it short: last week's NAMBLA episode of South Park was one of the most disgusting, disturbing and vulgar of all their efforts...I give it a 10!
  I'm already behind in reviewing this week's episode--which I haven't even seen yet--so I'll keep it brief.
  Eric Cartman, fairly despondent from being so much "mature" than his friends, seeks older companionship. With no other clue as to where to turn, it falls to his computer to give him guidance. He starts searching and happens upon NAMBLA--the North American Man Boy Love Association--whose pitch on the screen is something like "older men who like little boys."
  Enamored of this option (and innocent/oblivious to its true meaning) Eric sets out to meet older men; only every "date" ends in his new friend's arrest! He blames this on Stan and Kyle.
  A sub-plot features Kenny's mom trying to get pregnant. Keeny HATES this idea and tries to effect a spontaneous abortion on his own, with drugs from a local pharmacy with names like "Baby-be-gone" and "Baby-no-more." Vulgar, eh? But, at the time, very funny, I'm sorry. Kenny tries to spike mom's vodka with the WHOLE BOTTLE of one of these pills, only it's dad who gets a hold of it and here begins a running gag of Kenny's dad vacuating every bodily fluid known to man in extended scenes, a South Park specialty. Kenny also tries his hand at castration by beaning dad in the nuts with a baseball.
  Cartman's drafted to be a poster-boy of NAMBLA and invites all his "immature" friends to see how good he's got it. They all join him at a convention hall, where there's another NAMBLA present: the North American Marlon Brando Lookalike Association. Naturally, that mad doctor (from the hill) is in attendance and tries to correct the confusion.
   Eventually, the boys learn the truth and Cartman's forced to apologize for almost getting them raped. He warns Stan and Kyle not to take too long maturing ike him.
  I know I keep saying it: I hate bio-movies. And yet I keep watching them. Sort of like craning my neck over a car wreck.
  But, I am a sucker for the Monkees and anything about them, so I was compelled--in true over-age fanboy fashion--to view the VH1 TV-movie bio-pic of their rise and fall in the '60s.
  I really enjoyed this and I feel guilty as hell and I don't know why I should, really. It did the obvious: hit on all the cover-story high points and re-create famous sketches and music "videos". But I have to tell you. The actors they chose to play the "pre-fab" four were as expertly cast as the originals, and I don't say that easily.  They were very, very good. In fact, I'll go as far as to say at a casual glance you would have thought they were the original Monkees!
  They had to cram a lot of history into 2 hours.  Don Kirshner, the fights, the drugs, the Beatles party in England (where well-cast actors playing the Beatles commented on the Monkees fame; "John Lennon" is quoted here as telling Mike Nesmith "you guys are the modern day Marx Brothers"--something Nesmith didn't really want to hear) and, of course, their break-up due to not being allowed to be a "real band."
  Which brings up the only "character" not really played believably: Jack Nicholson. In negotiations for "Head", the Monkees only movie made post-series cancellation, Jack is portrayed as a semi-stoned, grinning gargoyle. I blame the actor and the producers for this...Nicholson's portrayal is WAY, WAY over the top---as if they got some bush-league impressionist to be Jack in case it was lost on the audience somehow that this was the Jack Nicholson.
  To their credit VH1 "packaged" this movie with a "Behind-the-Music" look at the history of the real quartet. And an enjoyable experience it was. In retrospect, I can see why the Monkees drew so much contempt. And why they were so unhappy being a phony band (well, phony at first). And why "Headquarters" could have been their breakout album if not for the untimely release of "Sgt. Pepper" (Geez...did I really just say that?).
  That they have such staying power regardless says something about visionary producer Don Kirshner, the show's producers (their names escape me now), and the original Monkees: Mike Nesmith, Peter Tork, Davy Jones, and Mickey Dolenz. All 4 are household names. And I think they deserve that.
Unexpected computer meltdown caused delay
  Altho I've been braggin' on my new baby, things haven't gone quite as smoothly as it did in the very beginning with breaking in the new computer.
  Corey was able to put in the new soundcard before he had to leave for DragonCon 2000 in Atlanta.
  It's loud as hell and there's no distortion, but it still needs a little tweaking. It's proably conflicting with another application. They always do, eh?  I got this brain loaded with media crap, so it's bound to happen.
  Then my Easy Designer program--the one I use for writing these pages--went KA-PLOOEY and wouldn't even let the computer stay on; it shut everyhting down as soon as I touched it. That finally got straightened out, but I'm not sure how.
  Hope Corey gets back soon......
Canova family reunion
  I was very pleased and extrememly excited to get an email from a cousin of mine who lives far out west: Joyce Lynn Canova Seidler--sort of our family historian--from California.  Joyce found my AOL website and wrote to tell me how cool it was (gosh that always feels good!) and to tell me news of a Canova family reunion happening this fall in St. Augustine, October 7, 2000 to be exact.
  We Canovas have a bit of history in St. Augustine. Evidently, it's where we got off the boat, as it were, some 500 years ago from the Mediterranean island of Minorca!
  Joyce left me her personal website address, as well as the Minorcan society site, so I can keep up with the details as they happen.
  My brother Ron has been to St. Augustine, but I never have. There is at least one house there called "the Canova house" where one of Napoleon Bonaparte's relatives stayed for along time. We have ties to other properties.
  I'd love to go, but I told Joyce Ron will have to drive.
 My bucket won't make it to St. Augustine!


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