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Now in our sixth calendar year
PCR #300  (Vol. 6, No. 51)  This edition is for the week of December 19--25, 2005.

The History of Miami International Airport--Part 2
 by William Moriaty
 by Mike Smith
Trials of a Mother
 by Mike "Deadguy" Scott
2005 Did Not Really Exist
 by Vinnie Blesi
In Search of Christmas
 by Mark Terry
The Point of Existence
 by Dylan Jones
True Christmas Spirit....Man of the Year....Biggest Surprise of the Year....Bigget Disappointment of the Year....I like Superman?...300?
 by Brandon Jones
Christmas Greetings....The Chronicles of Narnia
 by John Lewis
Issue 300....Freedom of Holiday Choice....Christmas Time
 by Matt Drinnenberg
The Big 3 0 0....Merry Christmas....What The?...Passing On....India On Line....WTF?, Part 2....Jaws: The Story, Part 48 -- Final Chapter
 by Mike Smith
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Couch Potato Confessions by Vinnie B.

2005 Did Not Really Exist

It was in early 2005 that I joined the top-secret organization, U.N.C.L.E. This has been one of the few positives of year 2005, the year that did not really exist. My spy status enabled me to “out” several T.H.R.U.S.H. operatives during the past year including some here in the Crazed Fanboy universe. Of course if I divulge their identities I would have to silence you.

Due to my involvement with U.N.C.L.E. I was able to discover that the year 2005 did not really exist, it was all a mass hypnosis experiment spearheaded by the Republicans and Steven Spielberg. It is actually still the year 2004. The events of the last 12 months have been implanted in your brain with nano chips and RFID devices purchased at Wal-Mart.

As you may of heard the war in Middleastasia is not going well and the President has admitted to spying on you and me. Of course when this history is rewritten by the Dept.of Information, the war in Iraq will be “Mission Accomplished” and spying on you in the privacy of your own home will be done for the public good and the safety of our children. We will of course be happy to be free of terrorism (whether real or perceived) and go on to enjoy our popular music, films and Hummers without question.

Time Magazine announced their people of the year; the ultra-rich Bill Gates family, and faux social activist rich rock star, Bono. This is almost enough to make even a bleeding heart liberal believe in the right wing lies about a liberal press. How hard is it to be a philanthropist when you are worth a gazillion dollars? Bono’s band U2’s concert tour grossed over 250 billion dollars this year. Lauding these people is ridiculous. Their egos are big enough. How about the dedicated people who actually helped people in New Orleans during Katrina? Those are real heroes, not these media fabricated celebrities.

The entertainment monopolies continued to churn out nothing but rehashed remakes in the alleged year 2005. Did we really need another version of “Cheaper by the Dozen” or “King Kong”? The original “King Kong” provided a fantasy escape to moviegoers from a depressed economy. The current remake oddly enough provides the same fantasy escape some 72 years later in an economic climate that is tethering on the collapse of the real estate market and huge personal credit card debt. I prefer to watch reruns of “77 Sunset Strip”.

The past year of non-existence also made me realize that America never really went to the Moon. This is based on my own logical conclusions that no country has been able to produce a space vehicle that can get out of low-level earth orbit since the '60s, and the fact that no astronauts who allegedly went to the Moon will admit it.

Will we wake up before it is too late? Will we actually see and experience the year 2006 or stay in our safe comfortable stasis chambers? Will the government ever get the funding for their Face Hugger program? Will Crazed Fan Boy ever get broadband? Why does the government want to force us all to get digital TV?

For answers to these and other questions, stayed tuned to my newly revamped column for 2006, “Couch Potato Hollywood Celebrity Confessions”.

Till next time, keep the Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie home fires burning.

"Couch Potato Confessions" is ©2005 by Vinnie Blesi.  Couch Potato main graphic by Vin Blesi and Nolan Canova.  Webpage design and all graphics herein (except where otherwise noted) are creations of Nolan B. Canova.  All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2005 by Nolan B. Canova.