LA FLORIDIANA Will's Excellent Water Adventure in Winter Park....End of an Era....Will's Fall TV Picks by Will Moriaty

THIS WEEK'S MOVIE REVIEW "Once Upon A Time In Mexico" by Mike Smith

COUCH POTATO Premiere Month?.....Top 10 Reasons to Watch "The Mullets"......Nanites Are Us......Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere DVD  by Vinnie Blesi

ASHLEY'S HOLLYWOOD More Notable Passings......Cabin Fever  by Ashley Lauren

CREATURE'S CORNER "Jeepers Creepers 2" .... "Cabin Fever" .... Creepy Freaks  by John Lewis

MATT'S RAIL John Ritter......Happy B-Day  by Matt Drinnenberg

MIKE'S RANT What's In A Name?....Michael, Val, George, --- CHRISTIAN?....He's Going To Sing!....Slip And Slide And Sue....Congrats 1 & 2....Speaking Of....Passing On....Legends  by Mike Smith

Archives of Nolan's Pop Culture Review

Archives 2003 Archives 2002 Archives 2001 Archives 2000

Email PCR Home

Greetings and Salutations:
Hello Everyone. Ah, it's been a busy week here at the "Castle," but when is it not busy? My jobs are getting busier as we gear up for the holiday season (it feels strange bringing that up at this time of the year) and my movies are taking up quite a chunk out of any free time I may have but nothing will keep me from making a few comments here at the PCR. If I remember right I said first up on the plate would be a short review of Jeepers Creepers 2, so here it is.

Jeepers Creepers 2
Every twenty-three years this monstrous lunatic (which appears to be related to that rascally critter we affectionately call "The Mothman") comes forth to wreak havok in rural areas, killing scads of people. Jeepers Creepers (#1) saw the beginning of the cycle of terror which lasts for (duh!) 23 days. In Jeepers Creepers 2 we pick up the story at the end of the cycle. A boy is tending a cornfield where several scarecrows are set to keep the crows away. One of the Scarecrows turns out to be ole' JC (not that one) himself. The boy is captured and the monster flies off with him while a helpless father and brother witness the horrific event. The monster took off like a bat out of hell (sorry Meatloaf). It kind of reminded me of the way the bats flew in Corman's "Vampirella."

Enter a busload of teenagers traveling through the creature's feeding grounds (no, not me) when a sharp oject like some Chinese Throwing Star (only quite a bit larger) punctures and flattens one of the tires. This scene and the throwing stars kind of reminded me of the rarely seen movie "Without Warning" starring Martin Landau. (That one had an alien hunter collecting humans. HMM! Where have I heard that one before.) The adults get out of the bus to check out the damage. All hell breaks loose and all the adults disappear in no time. This leaves the teenagers, their bus, and ole' JC. There is lots of murder and mayhem before the arrival of the farmer and his son to "save the day." Once again we are treated to some sort of homage to earlier films, this time "JAWS."

I won't spoil the ending, you'll just have to go see it for yourselves. The movie is not bad though it does have it's fair share of completely preposterous actions by some of the characters like the first one does. Even the most curious people would not throw themselves into some of the situations the characters of these movies do. It is actually one of the things that detracts from the overall affect of the movie. I give this one a weak Two Screams on the Creature Scale. Is it worth seeing? Probably, especially for true horror fans. The visuals are nice and, as usual, the creature is pretty cool. It's not among the worst movies I've ever seen, but the next one I'll expose you to is.

Cabin Fever
Saturday night we went to see "Cabin Fever." This movie is being well-publicized as well as having some neat visual ads. I fear, however, that many who see this movie will come away disappointed. Allow me to begin. Oh, and by the way, I want to enact a "SPOILER WARNING" to those who haven't seen the movie yet. Please read on and I'll save you from having to see this flick.

Five young people head out for a weekend at a cabin in the woods only to find themselves plagued by a strange flesh-eating virus. Few details are given but our friends end up infected (some of them anyway) by the "mysterious viral killer."

I don't even know where to start. There are so many problems with this movie that I felt like I'd been sucker-punched by the producers. Those who read this column faithfully (the two or three of you out there) know that I usually will give a movie some credit no matter how bad or controversial it is. (Hint to filmmakers: send me your movies. Chances are you'll get a fairly good review.) This is one movie that left me scratching my head.

First off; a man in the woods finds his dog dead and gets the disease. Next, the young people make it to the woods and one of them finds the infected guy. The guy ends up at the cabin where they all beat on him out of fear and accidentally set him on fire. He runs off into the woods.

Next on the plate a guy approaches the group from out of the woods while they are sitting around a campfire. Where does he come from? Who knows and who cares (throw those pages of the script away). He has some drugs and suddenly the "girl-next-door" character turns into a mad drug fiend, her face lighting up with the mention of the word. The guy leaves to go to his tent and we never see him again.

Miss "girl-next-door" is the first victim. What do they do; the caring people (including the guy who has been in love with her for years) lock her in the woodshed (like the shark victim in "The Beach"). Each time we see her she gets worse. Then another guy gets the disease. He heads into town, stops at the general store, and is confronted by the owner's kung-fu autistic child. A meaningless display of martial arts action occurs. The guy leaves and the shopkeeper and two others follow him (they need to stop this pestilence). Armed with two guns and a highly visible (in the foreground) box, they follow him. Hey guys "WHAT THE HELL IS IN THE BOX?!?!?!?" (Throw those pages away) They are all killed at the cabin along with at least one of our disease-ridden characters.

Anyway!!!!, the whole movie goes to hell with one character that ran away in fear returning to the cabin. WHY!??!!?!?! He ran away to keep from getting sick. He views the mayhem left behind by the gun battle and the disease and proclaims his triumph. He is healthy. He has beaten the odds. Here's the "SPOILER." You have been warned:

He steps outside only to be blasted by scads of police bullets (WHAT!?!?!?!?). Here's the kicker. They drag him out and throw him on a fire with the rest of the bodies. I've seen this movie. It was made in 1968!!!!! (a bit of sarcasm, sorry.) One quote from said movie will give it away "That's another one for the fire." Gee, and it was said by the law authority. I only want to know one thing: "WHAT'S IN THE BOX!?!?!?"

Okay, I'm over it now, I'm okay. Visually the movie looks okay and the special effects makeup was okay. There, I said something nice about Cabin Fever. I also didn't reveal everything just in case you want to go see it. The movie did bring in an impressive $8.6 million in the first weekend. I give it a weak, single Scream on the Creature Scale. We'll see how it does next weekend when Kate and crew deliver Underworld. You know where I'll be.

Creepy Freaks
Before I go I'd like to make one anouncement. This week marks the release of Wizkids newest offering, "Creepy Freaks." You remember them, the Hero-Clix guys! Well Creepy Freaks is very reminiscent of many of the sixties "Monster Rod" drivers in those way-out model kits (I love sixties lingo) of the "Rat-Fink" era. Basil Wolverton would be proud. Creepy Freaks is another collectible miniatures game in which the object is to have the grossest team. Aimed at kids I already predict that most players will be adults. With characters like "Crusty the Snotman," "Drippy the Pussman," "John" (yes, a toilet monster), and "Pus Bus Gus," how can this game go wrong. Another character is called "Bo Oger." My favorite character so far is "Monster Under The Bed." He's COOL. Go out and buy some Creepy Freaks. They're "Groovy."

Have a Great Week. C-Ya!!!