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Now in our sixth calendar year
PCR #264. (Vol. 6, No. 15) This edition is for the week of April 11--17, 2005.
Matt's Rail

Charlie Carlson’s "Weird Florida": Unleashed!!!! Book Release Party
 by William Moriaty
The Amityville Horror
 by Mike Smith
Debralee Scott Dies at 52...."Zombiethon" (1986)
 by Andy Lalino
Right To Die, Right To Live
 by Nicholas King
Conversations With Gorbly...."Sahara"
 by John Lewis
Bucco Focus....Stupid Is As Stupid Does
 by Matt Drinnenberg
Where's Matthew McConaughey?...Beautiful Noise....Passing On....Speaking Of Music....I'm A Star....Jaws: The Story, Part 14
 by Mike Smith
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With the coming of Spring comes the coming of the new NFL season to those maniacal NFL heads who just can't get enough. Like me.

That's why it's always an exciting time when the upcoming NFL schedule is released, as it was earlier this week. It's time to hunker down and check out who plays who at what time, who gets prime time exposure, and more importantly, what does the shakedown look like for my beloved, and once mighty Buccos.

Sadly, for this very recent NFL Champion, the Bucs are on prime time only once this regular season, and it isn't a Monday Nighter or even a Sunday Nighter! It's a 4pm kick-off against the lowly San Francisco 49ers. About the best thing I can say about it is that at least the NFL gave us someone we'll have a chance against. Of course, I guess I can't hang last year's lackluster dud performance on this year's group of guys. Especially since Head Coach John Gruden has virtually decimated what the now Iconic-to-Buc-Lore Tony Dungy assembled. Guess that was to be expected, especially in light of how everyone kept saying, "Yeah, you won the Super Bowl, Gruden, but it was because of Tony Dungy". That wouldn't sit very well with me. Probably not with you, either.

Fortunately for all of us, I still believe Coach Gruden is a man amongst men in the NFL, and a very ingenius guy in a genius sort of way. I'm almost certain that with the NFL draft on the horizon, JG is sitting there at One Buc Place licking his chops thinking about that #5 pick. Yepper, there's a heckuvalotta talent in this year's college draft class, and the Bucs are almost certain to have the ability to get a stud Running Back, as there are several.

But there's one guy in particular who, in my humble opinion, is head and shoulders above the rest. Someone I kind of suspect Gruden has his eye on, and someone he's seen up close and personal. And that's Cadillac Williams, whom Gruden coached in the Senior Bowl. Strangely enough, JG pulled him from the game after a series, which at the time I considered punishment for something. But in retrospect, Gruden probably liked what he saw, and had his sights set on him way back when. I wouldn't be suprised if open speculation about it is met with generic "he's a talented football player. There's a lot of talent in this draft because Gruden is a pretty darn good spin master.

The cold, hard truth is that Williams is a stud's stud, and Gruden knows it very well. With the fifth pick it's completely unknown who will be available. I'm certainly not the only one to think him the best running back in the draft. And come the 23rd of April, if Cadillac Williams is still sitting there, that chop-licking that is transacting on Gruden's face will be of the Pit Bull hovering over a steak with heavy salivation variety.

And mine will be, too!

This week while traveling the Pike I came upon some guy driving at least 65 miles per hour and he was reading an article in a newspaper. There was also the time this week where I witnessed map reading while engaging a moving automotive vehicle, but reading an article just seems too idiotic and stupid to be true. And when I say reading I don't mean casually glancing while he commandeers the road. This paper was up in front of his face and he was occasionally peering over the paper to check the road.

I kid you not.

Also got to see some guy prove his manliness by racing up like a maniac behind some other guy who passed him. Some attempt to prove something, I guess, although I'll confess I have no idea what that could be. Maybe he wants to show the guy he's an idiot. If that was his mission, he accomplished it with staggering zeal.

And just by some off chance one of these chuckleheads is checking this out, do the rest of us who have to share the road with you on this planet a favor, and don't put our lives at risk because you think you have some eternity power of non-death in your favor. You don't.

Just FYI.

Till next time, take care and God bless,

"Matt's Rail" is ©2005 by Matthew Drinnenberg. Webpage design and all graphics herein are creations of Nolan B. Canova. All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2005 by Nolan B. Canova.