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Now in our sixth calendar year
PCR #281. (Vol. 6, No. 32) This edition is for the week of August 8--14, 2005.
Matt's Rail

"Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo"
 by Mike Smith
Midnight Movies: From Margin to the Mainstream
 by Andy Lalino
Crypto-Animals....The Black Wolf Of Clearwater
 by John Lewis
The Big 5.0....Cheater, Cheater, B. S. Eater
 by Matt Drinnenberg
Happy Birthday....Why Do They Call Them Funnies?...Makes Sense....Passing On....Say What?...Jaws: The Story, Part 29
 by Mike Smith
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Well, here we are on the cusp of a great moment in history that once again I am forced to miss out on. As if NolanCon wasn't going to be incredible enough, the bigger moment to me was being with the man himself on this momentous occasion. What makes it worse for me was that I had it all planned and set, but had to bow out at the last minute due to work-related issues. Heck, my vacation was even approved, but unfortunately has to end on Friday, which means that had NolanCon been on, I would have had to miss it on Saturday and Sunday!!!! I guess that's kind of typical of how things go for me. But I digress....

Here's hoping that you, Nolan, have a wild and crazy, and safe, birthday on Saturday. While I know it's not what you envisioned, you at least have the birthday gift of knowing you have friends who love you. And a couple guys who are bitterly disappointed they can't make it, but who are thinking of you nonetheless.

Happy Birthday, Nol.

Yeah, that's right. I'm talking about Mr. Palmeiro.

After confidently proclaiming to Congress that he never took steroids, and making such a big deal about it by calling Jose Canseco a liar, he apparantly STUPIDLY continued to take them knowing full well that baseball is now checking for it.

Not to be outdone, when the story breaks he came forward immediately saying he never knowingly took steroids and if they were in his system it was news to him!

And then....BAM. Even though the type of steroid he took was supposed to be kept secret, it was released to the media. And then doctor after doctor came forward with the reality of the day. Which is this:

The type of steroid Palmeiro took can only be taken via injection or pill. So, quite obviously, he has been caught lying again because he had to know he was taking it. Now he refuses to speak about it per his lawyer's advice. If he's telling the truth, why does he need to hide behind his lawyer? Especially since he was so truthful to Congress.

This is an amazing disgrace for a guy who, till now, was a first ballot Hall of Famer. Now that is in serious question. But in a way, this was a real good thing for at least one guy, and that's Jose Canseco.

Now here's a guy who was pretty much an open book in front of Congress. You could even say it was Canseco's book that prompted Congress to call the meeting into session. For his part, Jose is the only one who is smelling like a rose. While he was blasted at the beginning by a lot of people, I always felt he should be applauded. The only real thing he's guilty of is taking steroids himself, which he freely admits, and exposing cheaters for what they are.....CHEATERS.

Canseco says he introduced Palmeiro to steroids, and showed him how to take them and mask them, when they were teammates with the Texas Rangers. That was 1993, which is a benchmark year for when Palmeiro went from being a utility player to one of premier power status, going from 22 home runs in 1992 to knocking out 37 of them the year he met Canseco. From that time, he has hit over 40 home runs 4 times, and has just missed the mark six times, averaging 37-39 home runs over those seasons.

Why is that so important? Because it is the home runs that really solidified this guy as not only a first ballot Hall of Famer, but a Hall of Famer! You can even forget the numbers...what about INTEGRITY? One of my favorite pitchers of all time, Jack Morris, came forward and said that if Palmeiro or any of these other cheaters are allowed in the Hall, he doesn't want to be inducted. One can certainly understand his sentiment, at least I know I can.

Hard work and perseverance giving honor to the game? Or injection and pills spreading shame like butter on a piece of bread. Hard work and perseverance that guys like Pete Rose know.

Pete Rose can't be in the Hall of Fame because he bet on baseball, heck, he's been banned from the game itself. But not for cheating. And baseball is showing us they feel that guys who actively cheat day in and day out can????? You can question Rose's intelligence when it comes to his gaming habits, but you can never question his will and determination as a player. And really, unless Rose is reinstated, none of these 'Roid Ragers should even be allowed to visit those hallowed halls.

Here's a Happy Birthday to the greatest mom on the face of the planet. My mom, who turns 85 this month. She doesn't read my column, because she doesn't have a computer, but she deserves the recognition regardless for being, quite simply, the most loving person I've ever met.

Here's to you, Mom, you're the greatest!!!

Till next time, take care and God bless,

"Matt's Rail" is ©2005 by Matthew Drinnenberg. Webpage design and all graphics herein are creations of Nolan B. Canova. All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2005 by Nolan B. Canova.