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PCR #173. (Vol. 4, No. 29) This edition is for the week of July 14--20, 2003.
Mike's RantMike's Bust
Hello, gang. Some news and notes and natterings. Shall we begin?

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WHY WAIT FOR THE DVD?
20th Century Fox has announced that they will be sending Danny Boyle's "Alternate Ending" of his film 28 Days Later to theatres currently playing the film. The 4 minute and 24 second reel will run after the end credits, preceded by a card reading "What If?"

BUT WHO'S PLAYING THE OOMPA LOOMPA?
According to the Internet Movie Data Base, director Tim Burton has narrowed his list of actors to play Willy Wonka in his film, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, to two. The finalists? Christopher Walken and Burton fave Michael Keaton. I hear at the end the Lincoln Memorial will be made completely out of chocolate.

SIMON ON THE GRILL
For those of you that may have missed it, Pittsburgh Pirates first baseman Randall Simon was suspended for 3 games and fined $2,000 for his attack on an Italian Sausage at Miller Park in Milwaukee. Actually, what happened is this: during the nightly sausage race, in which 4 people dressed in 8 foot tall sausage costumes, the woman representing the Italian Sausage got too close to the Pirates dug out. Simon reached out with his bat and tapped the top of the costume, which caused the Italian Sausage to lose it's balance and topple into the Hot Dog. While the Polish Sausage stopped to help, the greedy Bratwurst sprinted ahead and easily won the race.

SUPPORT OUR TROOPS
What in the hell is going on? I'm proud of the six years that Matt and I gave in the service of our country. And I consider us lucky that we never had to fire a shot in defense of this great land. The closest I ever got to war was a unit deployment the day Anwaar Sadat was assassinated. In fact, I don't think the thought of ever really going to war entered my head the entire time I was in the Army. And now we have young men and women in Iraq being used for target practice by people who don't want them there. This week the 3rd Infantry Division was told, for the third time, that their time in Iraq is not yet over. Twice before they were told they would be going home soon only to have their hopes, and those of their families, crushed. Yes, it's their job. They are professional soldiers. But they are also people. If, as President Bush said 2 months ago, the war is over, why not let them come home? Why have over 30 of our troops been killed since the war "ended?" Why are we going to be in Iraq FOR AT LEAST THE NEXT FOUR YEARS???? If anyone has the answers, I'd love to hear them.

SHOCKING
This week E! ran it's latest list, this time the "101 Most Shocking Moments in Entertainment".  For those interested, the top 10: 1.  OJ Simpson is found not guilty.
2.  Princess Diana is killed in a car crash.
3.  Michael Jackson is accused of child molestation.
4.  The murder of John Lennon.
5.  The death of Marilyn Monroe.
6.  The death of JFK, Jr.
7.  Kurt Cobain's suicide.
8.  The death of Elvis Presley.
9.  The Manson Family murders.
10.  The Clinton/Lewinsky scandal. OK.  Michael Jackson I can see.  In fact, MJ made the list five additional times (dangling his baby over a balcony railing, his hair catching on fire, the kids he had with ex wife Debbie Rowe, his marriage to Lisa Marie Presley and, finally, his multiple surgeries.)  But as for some of these, I think someone needs to talk to E! about the definition of "entertainment."  Sure, OJ did a couple of films and President Clinton played the sax on "Arsenio."  But are these people in "entertainment?"  Princess Di???  Oh, yeah.  She was a huge entertainer.  JFK, Jr???  Let's see......he had a magazine and a cameo on "Murphy Brown."  He did date Daryl Hannah.  And, to be honest, he really did want to become an actor but Jackie wouldn't let him.  Hell, how about the death of his dad?  I would think the president getting his blown off would be more shocking then the president getting blown.  If you have the answers, let me know.

Well, that's it for now. Have a great week! See ya!


"Mike's Rant" is ©2003 by Michael A. Smith. Webpage design and all graphics herein are creations of Nolan B. Canova. All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2003 by Nolan B. Canova.