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PCR #185. (Vol. 4, No. 41) This edition is for the week of October 6--12, 2003.
Mike's RantMike's Bust
Dear patient readers. I apologize for the lateness of my column. I thought I had sent this to Nolan on Thursday, but had clicked on "send later" rather then "send now". However, it does allow me to comment on some things that occurred Friday. Again, my sincere apologies. ---Michael A. Smith
Hello, gang. Just a few notes this week (and a HUGE sigh that I'm not doing an obit section this week, even though Roy Horn almost went to tiger heaven. Shall we begin?

UFOs Over Florida Waters
by Will Moriaty
"Out Of Time"
by Mike Smith
Arnold....Stand By Me....Bennifer
 by Ashley Lauren
The Phone Call....Ah-nold
 by John Lewis
"Rush"ing to Conclusions
 by Matt Drinnenberg
Stupid Is As Stupid Does....What The Hell?...."Rush" To A Coincidence....Pirate Jack....Congrats....Get Well....Kobe
 by Mike Smith
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Just caught this in tonight's paper. Seems there was a gentleman in Alaska who felt that grizzly bears were misunderstood creatures. The story is he would not only walk up to the wild bears in the woods, he would sing to them and touch them. Well, apparently he poked the wrong bear because the man, along with his girlfriend, were eaten by bears earlier this week. The attack (audio only, as the lens cap was left on) was captured on the couple's video camera. Lot's of yelling, growling and what appears to be a muffled voice saying, "Don't forget to grab the pic a nic basket!"

My thoughts exactly when I woke up Tuesday morning and caught the early SPORTSCENTER. Having gone to bed happily with the Bucs leading the Colts by 21 points and little time left, I almost fell out of said bed when I heard the score. And thank you, referees, for that bullshit call on Simeon Rice. Almost as bad as the call made in the 2000 NFC Championship Game on Bert Emmanuel's catch! (ARRRRGH!! The bad call by which all others are judged!! We was robbed...--N)

Yes, it's true. Matt and I have pretty much shared the same brain for the last quarter of a century plus. But to think that Rush Limbaugh "resigned" because of his comments is way off the mark. I think whether he had made his idiot comments or not he would have quit once news of the drug probe hit. All week now, Rush has said that he will cooperate, he will do whatever is asked of him. What he hasn't said is that he's innocent. Now it turns out that studies have shown that long time abuse of the drugs being mentioned has been found to cause the hearing loss that Rush suffered. To bad he can't take something to make him lose his voice.
ADDENDUM: Just heard on my way home from work that Limbaugh has admitted to being addicted to the above mentioned drugs. He has decided to enter a rehab program, which lawyers are saying is the only way he will be able to plea bargain his case. On a related note, today Tommy Chong began his prison sentence for SELLING A WATER PIPE! Let's see, if Chong got NINE MONTHS for selling a pipe, you'd think Limbaugh would be looking at some serious time for being part of a drug ring. Yeah, you'd think.......................

A loud and hearty BOO to MPAA President Jack Valenti, who is trying to persuade studios to not send out screener videos and DVD's at Oscar time. Valenti's reasoning is that it will stop film piracy. Fat chance! You can go to almost any street corner in New York City at 3 pm Friday afternoon and buy a bootleg copy of any film that opened THAT DAY. And as much as they complain, the MPAA doesn't seem to care that much about film piracy. This past year I stumbled upon a collection of recent releases at a local flea market. In striking up a conversation with the tape seller, I found out that he was getting his films from someone who was pirating them out of the private viewing rooms at the theatre I MANAGED! I called the MPAA and reported it to their piracy hotline. Only after the third call did someone call me back. That was the last I heard. I had even gone to the trouble to research who had used the room and I think I figured out who the culprit was. Should Jack Valenti ever call me, I'll let him know. Many critic organizations, including the Kansas City Film Critics Circle (of which I am a member) have sent petitions to Valenti, urging him to drop this ridiculous idea. As much as we would like to, film critics don't have the opportunity to see every film that gets released. Believe me when I say that such films as "Sling Blade," "Monster's Ball" and "Affliction" would never have gained the positive word of mouth they earned had it not been for screeners. And thanks to these items, Billy Bob Thornton, Hale Berry and James Coburn are now all referred to as Academy Award winners.

To Governor-elect Arnold Schwarzenegger. I said a long time ago that the man is no dummy. If he had never made one film he would be as wealthy as he is now. A resounding "Boo" to the Los Angeles times, who felt it was newsworthy to report on the women who claimed Arnold was inappropriate with them 4 days before the election! Let me say here that, if these tales are true, then Arnold should surely apologize. But what upsets me is that these people waited 4 DAYS BEFORE AN ELECTION to come forward. Why? I mean, if this stuff happened 10 years ago, why not bring it up 10 years ago. I mean, if you're looking for money in a settlement, Arnold had plenty of money back then. I felt the same way when Paula Jones brought up the alleged actions of President Clinton. Why is what they supposedly did so horrible when they are running for President but tolerable when they happened. I don't get it.

Special get well wishes to one of my all time baseball idols, Ron Santo. Mr. Santo is preparing to undergo surgery. He hopes to return to the Cubs' radio broadcast by the time they start the World Series. Go Cubs, Go Redsox!

OK, here is where I may lose some of you. This week Kobe Bryant attending a hearing to see if he will have to stand trial for allegedly raping an employee of the resort he was staying at. Though Bryant was ordered to appear, his accuser was no where to be seen. This means that all information offered by the prosecution was basically hear say, related by a police officer. Never mind that the constitution guarantees you the right to face your accuser. A couple of times Bryants' attorney used the alleged victims name in court and was admonished by the judge. It's odd to me how the alleged victim is never named in rape trials, yet the alleged perpetrator has his name put out front and center. Even if Bryant is found not guilty, he will always have this hanging over his head. Many years ago, William Kennedy Smith was accused of rape. Now a doctor, Smith was acquitted of the charges he faced. Sad thing is, his name was made public. Smith can find the cure for cancer and who knows what else, but believe me, the words "alleged rapist" will be in the first lines of his obituary when he dies. Once again, an example of selective journalism and how it works!

Well, all for now. Have a great week! See ya!

"Mike's Rant" is ©2003 by Michael A. Smith. Webpage design and all graphics herein are creations of Nolan B. Canova. All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2003 by Nolan B. Canova.