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PCR #246. (Vol. 5, No. 50) This edition is for the week of December 6--12, 2004.
Mike's RantMike's Bust
Hello, gang. Some news, notes and a couple of lists for you. Shall we begin?

"Ocean's Twelve"
 by Mike Smith
"Mandatory Guidance"--You're Not Allowed to See That....Duran Duran coming to the SPT Forum....Paul Weller on VH1 Classic....See-"Saw"...."The Life and Death of Peter Sellers" commentary
 by Andy Lalino
Old Movies....New Comics....Comics Buyer's Guide....New Movies
 by John Lewis
Are You Ready To Shop?....Things That Even Scare Me....Slushpile
 by Brandon Jones
Slip Of The Tongue?
 by Matt Drinnenberg
Goodbye Bayfront Center....I Am Iron Man!...Diamond Dave....Time To Resign, Rummy...Hall Of Shame Commercial....Sith Overkill....List #1....List #2....Meet The Beatles, Part 46
 by Mike Smith
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I was very saddened to hear of the demolition of Bayfront Center in St. Pete. My two fondest Bayfront memories are seeing Elvis there on Valentines Day, 1977 and, in early 1978, Billy Joel. Highlight: Joel steps on my hand (it was general admission back then, before the Who tragedy ended it for most concerts) and says, "Sorry, man" in mid-song.

New Line Cinema has announced that former actor, now director, Nick Cassavetes will helm their live action production of the Marvel Comic Book character "Iron Man." No word on casting has been announced. Also, director Chris Columbus has signed on to direct the "SubMariner" film. Rumor has Olympic swimming champion Michael Phelps in talks to play Prince Namor.

In reading Matt's piece on David Lee Roth becoming an EMT I was reminded that 60's pop star Bobby Sherman has been an EMT in Colorado for many years. I hear Roth wanted to become a doctor but changed his mind when he heard they didn't have any ass-less scrubs.

Is anyone as shocked as I am at the incredulous answer Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld gave a soldier during a Q and A session in Iraq? When informed that, even though we have had our forces in Iraq for almost three years, the vehicles we use are tragically under protected, Rumsfeld replied that "we have to fight with the Army we have, not the Army we want to have!" WHAT??? Our troops are digging through TRASH DUMPS trying to find material to shield them from enemy attacks and when they ask for help they are basically told FUCK YOU!! To make matters worse, Rumsfeld went on to tell the troop that even with full armor their vehicles could still get blown up by bombs placed in the road. Makes sense. Why spend the money to protect our service men and women is they're only going to get blown up anyway. Hell, why are we wasting valuable dollars giving these people ammunition? Why not just have them throw their weapons at them?


  • Cost of a bottle of Flaxseed Oil at the Leavenworth, KS K-mart - $5.49
  • Cost of a tube of arthritis cream at the same K-mart - $3.29
  • Finally showing the world that you are not only surly and non-fan friendly but a cheater who has brought shame to the game you profess to respect - Priceless  

    Way to go, Barry.  You are known to have your own personal chef because, as you say, you want to know everything that goes into your body.  To say you had no idea what your trainer was giving you makes you either an idiot or a liar.  Didn't you wonder why the arthritis cream and flaxseed oil made your head the size of a bowling ball and your body a mass of muscle?  Here's an early Christmas present for you --   FYI:  It's an asterix for your bogus home run record.

    For years, George Lucas has been very protective of his "Star Wars" universe. In fact, when one of the theatres in the chain I worked for advertised on their marquee that they would be playing "The Phantom Menace" we received a letter from Lucasfilm telling us to take the signage down immediately. Lucas' opinion wasn't that we were promoting HIS film in our theatre but that we were using his film to promote OUR theatre. Now, all of a sudden, you can't turn on the television without being bombarded with a "Star Wars" character. From R2D2 showing up in an ESPN Sportscenter commercial to Darth Vader answering phones in a mock telethon spot, the Force is definitely out there.

    LIST #1
    British film fans participated in an online poll to determine the cheesiest film lines in movie history. The top 10:

    1. "I'm king of the world!" Leonardo DiCaprio in "Titanic."
    2. "Nobody puts Baby in the corner." Patrick Swayze in "Dirty Dancing."
    3. "Is it still raining? I hadn't noticed." Andie McDowell in "Four Weddings and a Funeral"
    3. "Ditto" Demi Moore's reply to Swayze's "I love you" in "Ghost." (these two tied)
    5. "You can be my wingman anytime." Tom Cruise to Val Kilmer in "Top Gun."
    6. "I'm just a girl...standing in front of a boy...asking him to love her." Julia Roberts in "Notting Hill."
    7. "Today we celebrate our Independence Day!" Bill Pullman in "Independence Day."
    8. "They may take our lives, but they will not take our freedom!" Mel Gibson in "Braveheart."
    9. "You had me at hello." Renee Zellweger to Tom Cruise in "Jerry Maguire."
    10. "No, I'm a postman." Kevin Costner's reply to a blind woman who tells him, "you're a Godsend, a savior, in "The Postman."

    LIST #2
    This week TVLand and TV Guide combined to feature the 100 most memorable TV moments. Here are the top 10, with my comments. Also, some of the other 90 that I found memorable:

    1. 9/11/01 - The South Tower of the World Trade Center Collapses. What do I need to add to this selection? Clearly the most horrifying moment ever broadcast into our homes.
    2. 7/20/69 - Man Lands on the Moon. The complete opposite of #1. Easily one of the greatest achievements of the 20th Century.
    3. 1/28/86 - The Space Shuttle "Challenger" explodes. I was walking into the mall where the theatre I managed was and passed by Radio Shack, where, like in movies of old, the tragedy was being played out on a wall of televisions in the front window.
    4. 8/28/63 - Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech. Truly one of the greatest and most powerful speeches ever delivered. When Dr. King spoke of what he saw over the mountain top is still an inspiration today.
    5. 2/9/64 - The Beatles appear on "Ed Sullivan." Too young to remember this, but I've seen it constantly repeated on television. The response of the audience is almost frightening....these girls aren't screaming in adoration, they're hysterical.
    6. 11/25/63 - President John Kennedy's State Funeral. Again, too young to remember but the poignant footage of John Kennedy, Jr saluting his father's passing casket is burned into the American consciencesness.
    7. 1/24/77 - Alex Hailey's "Roots" premieres. Never before had a television show brought viewers of all colors together. Still one of the greatest mini-series ever produced.
    8. 2/23/83 - The final episode of "M*A*S*H." One of the best television shows of all time came to a fine, satisfying ending. A friend of mine in California called me in the middle of this and apologized profusely later for interrupting the show. As far as I know, this is still the most-watched show in television history.
    9. 9/15/52 - "I Love Lucy." The episode where Lucy and Ethel get a job in a chocolate factory.
    10. 3/21/80 - "Dallas" The "Who Shot J.R. episode." Possibly the first and certainly the biggest TV cliffhanger of all time. The question was answered the night a production of "The Lion in Winter," featuring me as Richard, opened. Bad idea. The next night was sold out, though!

    # 19. 1/26/98 - President Clinton denies his affair. Thanks to slick Willie a generation of teenagers don't consider the occasional blow job as sex.
    # 27. 5/16/83 - Michael Jackson moonwalks on the "Motown 25" special. Yeah, now everyone thinks he's a crazy pedophile, but on this night Jackson earned his King of Pop crown.
    #38. 2/1/04 - Janet Jackson's infamous "Wardrobe Malfunction." The fact that the camera went from a close up to a far shot at the moment of truth convinces me that CBS knew what was going to happen.
    #41. 5/21/92 - Johnny Carson's last "Tonight Show." Try as he might, Jay Leno will never gain the love and admiration that Carson earned. He was truly an original.
    #46. 9/8/98 - Mark McGwire hits home run #62. Didn't get to see it on television, as I was in Busch Stadium when it happened. One of my greatest baseball memories.
    #57. 10/25/86 - The Boston Red Sox lose game #6 of the World Series when a routine ground ball rolls through Bill Buckner's legs. Hey, Sox fans. Stop blaming Buckner. He wasn't the one who gave up three consecutive hits and a wild pitch with two outs. Now that you've won the damn thing, why not have Billy Buck throw out the first pitch opening day?
    #60. 10/25/75 - Chuckles the Clown dies on "The Mary Tyler Moore" show. A classic example of everything working, from cast to script. I still remember Chuckle's motto: "A little song, a little dance. A little seltzer down your pants."
    #65. 11/22/68 - "Star Trek's Kirk (William Shatner) and Uhura (Nichelle Nichols) make history with television's first interracial kiss.
    #87. 7/10/95 - Hugh Grant apologizes for his solicitation arrest on "The Tonight Show." First thing that came into my mind? If Hugh Grant has to pay for a blow job what chances do the rest of us have?
    #100. 9/16/84 - My 24th birthday, so I KNOW I wasn't watching TV this night. But I did have the foresight to record the first episode of "Miami Vice." Besides, anytime I can make Will Moriaty happy with a "Miami Vice" mention I do my best.

    December 8, 1969. It takes ten takes for Ringo to record the vocals for "Octopus's Garden," to be broadcast on George Martin's "With A Little Help From My Friends" television show.

    Of course, December 8, 1980 is the date John Lennon was assassinated. On a more positive note, December 8 2004 would be the 61st birthday of the Lizard King himself, Jim Morrison!

    Well, that's all for now. Have a great week. See ya!

    "Mike's Rant" is ©2004 by Michael A. Smith. Webpage design and all graphics herein are creations of Nolan B. Canova. All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2004 by Nolan B. Canova.