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PCR #285. (Vol. 6, No. 36) This edition is for the week of September 5--11, 2005.
Mike's RantMike's Bust
Hello, gang! Well, things seem to be back to normal here at the PCR so let's get this party started. Shall we begin?

Doors Closing and Doors Opening: Part Three
 by William Moriaty
The End of Summer
  by Mike Smith
Simple Minds, New Order CDs On The Way!..."Red Eye" Soars, "...Thunder" Blunder....Bob Denver Dies
  by Andy Lalino
Nolan And His Leg Up....Hurricane Bush....Hammer Horror Series DVD....Masters of Horror Update
 by Matt Drinnenberg
Aftermath....Please Donate....Our Little Buddy....Jaws: The Story, Part 32
 by Mike Smith
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Now that things are starting to get under control down south it's time to look at what went wrong. My friend, Andrew, sent me an email asking me to think out my rant and not just write something "to impress my liberal friends." Not to worry, buddy. There's plenty of blame to go around. Shame on the mayor of New Orleans finding the time to appear on every damn radio and television program to point fingers when he and his staff didn't even follow their own emergency evacuation plan. Did you see the image of the 250 school buses surrounded by water? Well, according to the plan, those buses and others were supposed to be full of people and heading out of town. You people had almost a week's notice that the storm was coming. What the hell did you think was going to happen? And I don't want to appear callous, but the people that were told to leave, had the means to do so, and didn't: you'll get no sympathy from me. Yes, I'm sorry you lost your homes and belongings. But all you've done by staying around is take valuable people and resources away from those who desperately need it. As for our government's response, I can only say that I am embarrassed. That a group sent down from CANADA a week before the hurricane hit was the first to offer help while FEMA twiddled it's thumbs is almost incredulous! Why didn't our government have people standing by? And why must everything always be by the book? I work for Kansas City Power and Light. The day after the hurricane 12 of our work crews headed down to help with the restoration of power. When they got close to New Orleans, they were stopped outside the city because, even though they were there at the request of the New Orleans utility, they had not gotten permission from FEMA. Shortly after they arrived, 3 Red Cross trucks, loaded down with water, food, clothes and medicine showed up. They were also told to turn around because they had not gotten permission. PERMISSION!!! Who in the hell is running this show? Sadly, I discovered that the man in charge is a pal of a pal of our president. And the man is obviously qualified to run an agency this important. His last job was ensuring the integrity of judges at horse shows - perfect experience for a national disaster. What worries me the most is that, with the fourth anniversary of 9/11 right around the corner, what must our enemies be thinking. If a catastrophe that gave a week's notice can't be dealt with what will happen when and if we are attacked unexpectedly again? Sadly, among all of this tragedy, the race card is being played. The latest rumor I heard was that our government intentionally blew up the levees so that the city would flood, drowning many of the poor left behind. Sorry, but I don't think President Bush is a racist. An idiot at times, maybe, but not a racist. In fact, just look at how many people he took in at his ranch in Texas after the hurricane. What? Oh, he didn't. Well, at least they get to stay in the Astrodome. How cool is that? Just ask Barbara Bush, who told the media, "so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this - this is working very well for them." Which translates to, "hell, you were sleeping on the sidewalk before. Now you get to sleep on Astroturf!"

The above being said, it is time for those of us who can to help out those who can't. Donate to the American Red Cross and the Salvation Army. Or, if you'd like, you can be a sponsor for an event I am going to be a part of. Local Kansas City sports radio station WHB has invited 36 people to take part in a golf marathon to be held on Wednesday, September 21. These players, including myself, will tee off at dawn and play through sundown. You can either make a straight donation or sponsor an amount per hole. Next week, with Nolan's help, there will be a "donate" tab here for those of you who use Paypal to make a straight donation. Or, if you'd like to sponsor me per hole, please drop me an email at OsFanMike@aol.com. I'm hoping to get at least 60 holes in. Please put "Golf Tourney" in the subject box. Thank you in advance.

So very sad to hear of the passing of Bob Denver, who died last Friday at the age of 70 from complications following surgery for throat cancer. Though he worked in all mediums in his almost 50 year career, Denver will most certainly be best remembered as the first mate of the S.S. Minnow on "Gilligan's Island." It was while studying law at Loyola-Marymount University that Denver took up an interest in acting. In 1959 he auditioned for a role on the television program "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis" and was cast as beatnik Maynard G. Krebs. Ironically, Dwayne Hickman, the star of the show, was a classmate of Denver's in college. After the show ended Denver was cast in a new series centered around seven people who become stranded on an island. "Gilligan's Island" ran three seasons on CBS and seemingly will run forever in syndication. Though he played Gilligan as a sweet but bumbling soul, Denver was quite the opposite. When he felt that the characters of the Professor and Mary Ann were being short changed, he insisted that they be included in the show's theme song, thereby giving them more importance. Though he later appeared in other series, including "Dusty's Trail" and "The Far Out Space Nuts," Denver accepted his recognition as Gilligan willingly, often appearing at functions in his trademark white hat. He even appeared as Gilligan on other shows, including "Baywatch" and "ALF." Always gracious, he loved his fans as much as they loved him. He is survived by his fourth wife, Dreama, four children and one step son. His son, Patrick, who once appeared as Little Gilligan during a 1965 episode, is a successful visual effects designer.

This week we'll look at a few more rip-offs:

TENTACLES: Made in Italy but filmed in English, this crap featured two Oscar winners (John Huston, Shelly Winters) and future winner Henry Fonda. Which reminds me of one of my favorite Shelly Winters stories: While casting the film "Awakenings," director Penny Marshall learned that Winters was interested in playing Robert DeNiro's mother and asked her to come in to screen test. Winters walked into Marshall's office carrying a shopping bag. When she sat down she reached into the bag and pulled out the two Oscars she had won. As she set them on the desk she commented, "some people in this town think I can act." Obviously Marshall didn't as Winters didn't get the job.
PIRANHA: Not too bad film directed by Joe Dante and featuring a story co-written by John Sayles (?!)
GUMS: The requisite porno homage filmed in somebody's pool and featuring a lot of underwater blow jobs. I think Matt and I caught this as a midnight movie at the old Hillsboro theatre in Tampa.

Well, that's all for now. Have a great week. Please donate if you can. See ya!

"Mike's Rant" is ©2005 by Michael A. Smith. Webpage design and all graphics herein are creations of Nolan B. Canova. All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2005 by Nolan B. Canova.