PCR past banners Now in our fifth calendar year
PCR #215  (Vol. 5, No. 19)  This edition is for the week of May 3--9, 2004.

Florida’s Commuter Airlines from the 1960s to the 1980s: Part Two
 by William Moriaty
"Van Helsing"
 by Mike Smith
Long Hot Summer Movie Doldrums
 by Andy Lalino
Wacko Jacko Went Down To Texas....Surprise Embargo on Sushi....The Asscroft and Dumbsfield Dept.
 by Vinnie Blesi
And Now I'm Steppin' Into The Twilight Zone....The Monsters Are Here!
 by Matt Drinnenberg
Knew I Wasn't Hallucinating....The Mouse That Gagged....Wish I Was A Jetson....This Game Has Lost Its Balls....Meet The Beatles, Part 15
 by Mike Smith
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Andy Lalino
Oddservations by Andy Lalino

Long Hot Summer Movie Doldrums

Summer 1982: JC's "The Thing", "Blade Runner", "E.T.", "Poltergeist", "The Road Warrior", "The Beast Within", "Cat People", "The Dark Crystal".

Summer 2004: "Shrek 2", "Raising Helen", "New York Minute", "I, Robot", "Anacondas".

My, how far we've advanced.

...in another summertime blues session to make every true-blue Crazed Fanboy cringe, the major studios "unleashed" their summer offerings for 2004, and as usual, it's lame as hell. In the woefully tiresome formula of big stars + re-hashed material = big bucks, Amerilemmings will no doubt flock in droves to lick eye-candy at their favorite theater. Here are some of the releases for the season, most of which are as exciting as watching ice melt, with some commentary by yours truly:

Van Helsing: I've been seeing the trailer for this (frequently), which means it's probably no good. 'Frankenstein', 'Dracula', and 'The Wolfman' all look very fake, and the whole project seems overblown and reeks of desperation. I'm going to reserve final judgment until I see it, but those are my feelings at this stage of release. (based on classic literary characters)

Shrek 2: Never saw part 1; I simply can't take ass-kicking princesses and talking donkeys. I've seen talking chipmunks and elephants as a kid in my Disney days, and have no want to go back, unless it's edgy material like Looney Tunes. Avoid at all costs. (sequel)

Troy: Another CGI-stuffed, over-the-top history flick that may go the way of "The Alamo". Let's cross our fingers. (original)

Spider-Man 2: One of the very few summer flicks I'm looking forward to. Alfred Molina is a great choice to play Doc Oc, who looks like a worthy adversary for Spidey. Raimi learned from the first outing not to mask his villains. Not convinced what's-his-name is the ideal Peter Parker, or for that matter Kirsten Dunst is the perfect Mary Jane. (sequel/comic book adaptation)

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Looks good. (sequel/novel adaptation)

Garfield: What the? (comic book adaptation)

Around the World in 80 Days: Well, I like Steve Coogan, the actor who plays Phineas Fogg ; he was in "24 Hour Party People". The inclusion of Jackie Chan looks overtly silly. This will no doubt be an overblown CGI fest, and will make true cinephiles wonder how long before the public gets tired of seeing all these wondrous computer-generated landscapes. (remake)

The Stepford Wives: Also stars Faith Hill and Bette Midler, who provide music. Can you say avoid? (remake)

The Terminal: Spielberg continues his inability to direct anything as good as "E.T.", his last masterpiece. (original)

I, Robot: Sorry, I don't see anything starring Will Smith. How's his wife & kid doing? He hasn't mentioned them in...well...minutes. (based on Isaac Asimov story)

The Village: May be good, but if it's as understated as "Unbreakable" and "Signs", we're in for another M. Night borefest. (original)

Alien vs. Predator: Still don't like the idea of pitting a classic creature (Alien) against a mediocre creation (The Predator). It demeans the "Alien" series. (sequel to 2 separate series)

Exorcist: The Beginning: A troubled production that most will no doubt cringe from. There are so little horror offerings, however, that I may be forced to see this, A vs. P & "The Village".

Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid: Isn't this supposed to air on the Sci-Fi Channel? (sequel)

Thunderbirds: Not holding out much hope, but prove me wrong! (remake)

...note the amount of remakes/sequels as compared to original material.

"Oddservations" is ©2004 by Andy Lalino.  The Oddservations banner is a creation of Andy Lalino. All other graphics (unless otherwise noted) are creations of Nolan B. Canova.  All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2004 by Nolan B. Canova.