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Nolan's Pop Culture Review, 2003!
This week's
Movie Reviews:
  Malibu's Most Wanted
  House of 1,000 Corpses
Ashley's Hollywood
Plastic People
Matt's Rail
Mike's Rant

On the CF Homepage:
Florida Filmmaker Update

New Schlockarama! --
"Humanoids From The Deep"

  Number 161  (Vol. 4, No. 17). This edition is for the week of April 21--27, 2003.

Open for business


•  The Tambay Film Fest hits Channelside

•   Sometimes the magic works and sometimes it doesn't:
How a few editorial decisions made a disaster out of the debut of Ashley Lauren's Hollywood.

Three years ago, I set up Crazed Fanboy dotcom with a full set of serious intentions: I wanted to make a successful and well-received newsletter/magazine (you're looking at it), I wanted to somehow create online videos to display (I have to a small extent), I wanted an online talk or radio show (about to debut), and...very importantly...I wanted to have an online store to market the wares a few of us had to share.....for money. Well my friends, that day has finally arrived.
Why it took three years could fill a book, but I'll just go over the main points: I never owned a computer until late December 1999. I knew what I wanted, but could find no one to give me the answers I needed in a way I could understand them. I wanted my own domain. I wanted to learn to be a capable web designer and design and code my own webpages with confidence and not depend on templates on other websites for help. I wanted to write my own copy and post my opinions on a regular basis, because hey, everyone's entitled to my opinion. But I also knew I was going to have to learn everything from scratch. I spent a year on AOL Hometown to get me started, which it did. All this time the Crazed Fanboy domain had been "parked", waiting for the day I was ready to move in. That finally happened about March of 2000. But it would be another year before I moved the PCR from AOL into Crazed Fanboy's web-host space. The PCR was consuming 99% of my web time, so the Crazed Fanboy homepage was not updated very often, therefore didn't generate many hits (it still lags behind the PCR due to this delay). Not until May of 2001 did I start getting a little more serious about the homepage itself, and even then it was infrequent. It would be mid-2002 before I could divide up my time effectively enough to attend to CF updates. This year has gone much better.

Toward the end of last summer, I helped a good friend set up his online business and I gained valuable experience (Scott van Sickle's Bout Time Studios). It would be several more months before the stars aligned and I believed I was ready to become proprietor of my long dreamed-of store. The Last Outpost is the name I chose to represent this and with my PayPal account and state tax registration firmly in place, TLO is now open for business. There are several sections of it still in the final stages of construction (please see the Crazed Fanboy homepage for details), so it's not entirely open yet, but we do have our first product up for sale: a comedy album CD, produced in Tampa in 1999 and generally uncirculated. To read more about this CD and get that first whiff of new paint and fresh carpet in my online store, please go visit "Living In A Box".

THE TAMBAY FILM FEST press preview premieres "if"
Will Moriaty and I were invited to a press screening Wednesday night at Channelside Theaters. We saw "IF" and met some of the cast and crew. The tagline is "Science vs religion: where will you spend eternity?"
Jesse and Nolan
Nolan Canova with the star of "if", Jesse Hlubik
In the story, Josh (Jesse Hlubik), an artist/drifter meets Jenny (Kimberly Rowe) when he moves into the apartment next door. As they meet and find mutual attraction they discover they share the same feelings of skepticism about the world through psychic connections and philisophical meditations. As the story progresses we meet Jenny's mother (the legendary Beverly Garland) who has a past to hide. We also meet Josh's menacing older brother Gus (Andrew Roa) who is wrangling control of their dying father's estate. Science and religion do indeed meet to reveal the shocking connections these seeming strangers all share and the big picture Josh and Jenny are made aware of.
Jesse and Will
Jesse Hlubik and William Moriaty stand next to the poster for "if". Like Will's T-shirt?

"IF" also stars Jack Knight (Catch Me If You Can, Rosemary's Baby) as the family lawyer who may or may not be in on everything.
We were shocked to learn this movie was made for only $8000! Shot on video in and around the Los Angeles area, but it has a feature look, this is a great flick and we had a swell time.

Out in the Channelside Theater lobby, we had the opportunity to meet the star, Jesse Hlubik, the director Lisa Stoll, and the music composer Helen Simmins-McMillin (terrific soundtrack!). We were further surprised to learn that this is Lisa's directoral debut and is worth noting this is a first for executive Producer Jan Corey, previously a script supervisor, as well.
group shotAt left, a group shot form the "if" crew. From left, music composer Helen Simmins-McMillin, star Jesse Hlubik, and first-time director Lisa Stoll.

The Tambay Film Fest is held today (Friday), 4-25-03, through Monday, 4-28-03 at the downtown Channelside Theaters IMAX, 615 Channelside Dr., Tampa FL. "IF" plays Saturday at 6:00pm.

The Tambay website is www.tambayfilmfest.com

To everyone who complained about last week's A.L.'s Hollywood's glaring omission about Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas having the same birthday, among other things, I can honestly tell you now, that that omission was my fault as well as a few other things, too. Ashley originally sent two versions of CZJ's bio, one in depth, the other more just quick facts. In the ZERO time I had to cobble the two together and cut it down for length and re-write some parts I thought were too copy-and-paste-looking, a lot of paragraphs got hacked out. I couldn't dream how big a deal this became. As far as the birthdays, I finally had a few seconds last night to go re-read her original emails and found it. To restore order to the free world, the "birthday fact" has been restored to Ashley Lauren's Hollywood, PCR #160. ("Birthday: September 25th, 1969 (she is 33). She shares this birthday with Michael Douglas, Barbara Walters, Heather Locklear, Will Smith, Christopher Reeves, and many others I am sure. My birthday is 7 days later! We’re all Libras, lucky us!") For a few more letters that I couldn't squeeze into last issue on this matter, see this issue's "Letters To The Editor", as well as this issue's Matt's Rail for his opinion. This should close the matter.

I already defended my position on Ashley the last two issues, I won't be repeating myself except to say I saw nothing controversial or mean-spirited in her content that I haven't seen any of you guys do a million times before. Nevertheless, I made revisions to keep the peace. Let's move on.

William Moriaty may not have a La Floridiana this week, but he definitely has a new Schlockarama! Check out "Humanoids From The Deep".
And Terence Nuzum has turned in one of his ultra-rare movie reviews! The long-awaited review to Rob Zombie's House of 1,000 Corpses!

La Floridiana
This week's issue
La Floridiana by William Moriaty

On hiatus

Matt's Rail
This week's issue
Matt's Rail by Matt Drinnenberg


Ashley Lauren's Hollywood
This week's issue
Hollywood by Ashley Lauren
Ashley responds to her critics.....A brief bio of Roy Scheider.

Movie Reviewmovie review
This Week's Movie Review:

"Malibu's Most Wanted"  reviewed by Michael Smith
"House of 1,000 Corpses" reviewed by Terence Nuzum

Mad Matt
This week's issue
Mad Matt's Plastic People by Matt Cerrato


Mike's RantMike's Rant
This week's issue
Mike's Rant by Michael A. Smith
BATTER UP!........PASSING ON........ ................Click here for more.

Letters to the EditorWe welcome your feedback.
I thoroughly enjoyed your article on the controversy surrounding the public funding of the arts. (Re: "Art Wars", PCR #160, last issue. Thank you, Will --N) I particularly enjoyed how you presented the dual perspectives from both your and Terence's standpoint.

The public funding of the arts has been, and will continue to be, an item of great controversy and contention. Based upon your personal outlook, one must ask themselves the following questions:

1. Are the arts an essential public service?
My own take is, no, they are not. Keeping schools open, building and maintaining transportation facilities, and keeping courthouses, fire and police functions operating is. This should not cloud the matter at hand, however. The matter at hand is that trust funds were set up by law for specific reasons. If essential government services can not continue to be operated unless additional funding is procured, then our politicians need to quit borrowing from trust funds never meant for such a purpose. and finally bite the bullet on doing what's right by raising revenues-- but that means MORE TAXES and the politicians would just as soon stick steel rods in their eyes than to have the courage to admit that you can not provide services without paying for them. especially in the anti-tax, anti-government era we're in today. If raiding trust funds is the only way they can hope to pay for a part or all essential services in order to raise revenues, a.k.a. TAXES, then there is truly no sense in having trust funds at all.

2. Are the arts necessary to the public well-being?
Absolutely! It was initiatives by local arts and historic preservation activitists that have paved the way for private business ventures to breath new economic life into our communities. This is evidenced by the vitality of the Art Deco community of Miami Beach which was all but D.O.A. in the late 70's until the arts and historic preservation communities fought to showcase the value of the history, architecture and art of this gem. Once the people know that it is there to be found, they will come! This is now an internationally recognized community. Although the examples city by city are numerous and astounding, notable examples of the value of the arts, history and architecture in Florida would include the City of Winter Park, where the Charles Hossmer Morris Gallery houses the world's largest George Comfort Tiffany collection, the arts communities in West Palm Beach, the John Ringling Arts Museum in Sarasota, St. Armands Key, the City of St. Augustine, and restoration of grand hotels such as the Vinoy in St. Petersburg and the Breakers in Palm Beach. These cultural icons generate billions of dollars annually in revenue in Florida. Therefore, ignoring the impact that public funding can have on what the arts can bring in state revenue becomes more critical and less of a "essential" versus "nonessential" matter.

3. Is there a dearth of artistic talent in the State of Florida?
Absolutely NOT! There may be a lack of culture interested in supporting it, but Florida is gifted with excellent artisans of every type of art conceivable. If you need evidence of this, simply to a visit to the Tampa Art Museum. Take in a Florida Orchestra concert at the Performing Arts Center. Visit the Maitland Art Center in Maitland. Visit the Loch Haven Arts Complex in Orlando. Visit the Cummer Gallery in Jacksonville. Visit the Bass Art Museum and the Holocaust Sculpture in Miami Beach. The list is endless on the value of the art communities in Florida and their worth to our economic vitality. Instead of sending money out of state we need to continue to concentrate on cultivating and nourishing the artistic resources already located within the state as it repays itself in big dividends.

Raiding trust funds is yet another example that our legislators will always take the path of least resistance and easy way out rather than weigh the options on the wise distribution of funds based on facts needs and social value, even during a period of economic malaise like now. It's too easy to demonize and sound byte what the trust funds stand for rather than question if all "essential" services are being managed and funded properly first.

In regards to Ms. Lauren's column, I admire the stand you took. Although the contents of her column do not personally interest me, they are nevertheless a mainstream form of our society's pop culture and this is a pop culture publication. Even if different facets of pop culture do not set well with our writers or readers they are a contribution nevertheless and do have their place in this publication's history. One of my personal favorite "inflammatory" set of articles that created a hullabaloo with our staff and writers was Matt's "Last Days" series last year. Although it was basically a conjectural theological work, I believe that it was also something that our mainstream popular culture has had and still has a definite and deep interest in.

I was glad to see Ashley's work reappear this week on several levels. First and foremost, she was not kowtowed or discouraged to keep writing even after the published strenuous objections by some of our finest writers, readers and heavyweights. Second, her Catherine Zeta-Jones article was already a marked improvement over her first article (as you pointed out she is not a middle aged well-polished author--she's learning the ropes now, just like Terence did-- and I consider him to be one of the finest writers I've read in either amateur or professional circles ), and third, her articles contribute to the diversity of this publication (Florida memorabilia, tacky movie reviews, movie reviews, the paranormal, comics, CD reviews, mystery novel reviews) which is its strongest suit and keeps it fresh and vital.

Will [Moriaty]

Awesome issue! (Re: PCR #160. Thanks, Steve!---N)

Personal high points for PCR #160:

1. Dedication to Barbara Castellano and the inclusion of Auburndale, FL City Manager, Uncle Bruce Canova (as a matter of fact, I'd like to see an issue dedicated to your dad, and don't tell me it's too late. He contributed to Pop Culture waaaay before the term was coined). (Agreed--N)

2. Cypress Gardens closure....I went there many times and believe it is yet another nail in the coffin we all know and love as Old Florida. I like to refer to it as Pre-Disney Florida.

3. Will's St. Pete Times interview about Florida wildflowers along the interstate system.

4. Ashley's "Hollywood". I agree that people of all ages read this site and should be able to write from their own perspective. Besides, PCR is already made up of Baby Boomers, Generation X'rs and what have you. It's still Pop Culture regardless of whether it's geared to our age group or others. Besides, when necessary, she has her own Baby Boomer human encyclopedia in the form of her father, John.

5. Having followed PCR since it's inception, I believe you are well on track with the e-zine....and no, I'm not just saying it 'cuz we're friends, but you've always told me about your goals and target demographics (which I agree with) and you're steering a straight course towards that goal.

6. The sad death of Duck Tours....which to me is very reminiscent of an old-time Florida attraction. I suppose it's not hi-tech enough in this day and age. The State Insurance Commissioner has never done a thing about high rates and/or cost control (a part of job description). I've complained about that for years.

7. The article about Arts Funding was interesting and tho it pains me, I'm not surprised local government hasn't an interest in art. Since Florida has a poet laureate, maybe Jeb Bush could create a new position for Clyde Butcher....photographer of Natural Florida laureate.

Excerpt from Andy Lalino's "Letters to the Editor":
** On a critical note, we geekfans aren't particularly interested in Catherine Zeta-Jones' new baby or the surprise success of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". I'd much rather read about what Barbara Steele and Roger Corman are up to. **

No disrespect to Andy but.....Nolan, I would prefer to read about Roger Corman's exploits as well, however PCR has fans of all ages and besides, "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" is an independent film by a newbie in the film biz....and even if that (romantic comedy) isn't your favorite genre, it should be allowed on PCR. PCR is not here to help the sci-fi/action genre only.  It's very unfair for Andy Lalino to discount particular independent films just because he would have preferred another genre.  Having said all that, I don't believe I'm stepping on YOUR toes Nolan because you and I have discussed many times the content of this website before you began it as well as in recent months and years....so I believe I know what you want. Andy should read the CFB Mission Statement (Ha, ha, the little known and little read(?) original homepage of Crazed Fanboy, now in the Archives--N) before making such a statement. I have never really been a fan of Catherine Zeta-Jones, however that was because my first big news about her was due to her marriage to Michael Douglas. I figured, "Here it goes, Michael marrying a young cute wannabe actress and she's getting a millionaire husband and using him to get plum roles". Mutually beneficial, which it is. I have no problem with that.  However, having looked into her roles prior to and since their wedding, must say that she is an excellent actress as well, so she deserves the accolades.

Steve Beasley,
reporting from Middle Earth

Here it is, folks...appearing by insane popular demand....

Terence Nuzum responds to Mike Smith, Andy Lalino, and Ashley Lauren
(Very slightly edited for inflammatory content. DO NOT write to me, write to him)

Prologue -- Mike's personal email to me two weeks ago regarding Ashley's column went online barely edited. Altho Mike consented, he felt the published letter, which appeared last week, painted him in a very bad light and was misleadingly negative. I thought the original letter represented what many fans might be thinking, so I left it largely intact to inspire/provoke more fan discussion on the topic, which was successful in that regard, but was, in the larger picture, a mistake: We almost lost Mike. I've apologized about any miscommunication and hurt feelings, and he is staying but we will continue to disagree about this.

Filmmaker Andy Lalino wrote to express praise for the 'zine, but also expressed similar concerns about including a Hollywood-style reporter. I appreciate Andy's input and regard his talent and contributions as an asset to the Bay-area community. Ashley's current column is more to his liking, and as I said before it will get better and better.

I have already made my feelings clear on the matter. 18-year-old Ashley Lauren will continue to develop her chops here as long as she desires to.

Clicking on the title link above will take you to Terence's letter. I have said all I need to say, so please DO NOT WRITE TO ME, WRITE TO HIM!!!


Wanted to let you know that I'm already addicted to Mr. Cerrato's fine column. The use of the skulls as a ratings system and the slogan "I Frighten My Family" are great. I also enjoy the "bios" of the "plastic people".

Keep up the good work Matt!

Will [Moriaty]

Looks like Ashley won me over in one fell swoop! Scheider! Saxon! Zombie! Black! She even mentioned "Curse of the Living Corpse" (which I remember watching on "Creature Feature")!!! That's the kind of gossip column the geekfans need. Ashley should really find out what went on behind-the-scenes in schlock such as "Last House on Dead End Street" and "Bloodsucking Freaks"! That would make for some worthwhile column-reading. I think we're on to something here...

...I'm gonna get back to the "Humanoids from the Deep" review...

- Andy Lalino

Glad to hear it, Andy! I hope she will eventually win everyone over, altho it looks like we certainly have our work cut out for us.
Watch out for those Giant Salmon from the Deep! Thanks for writing.--Nolan

Hello Everyone:
It's the "Creature from Clearwater", John Lewis, here. (This is Ashley's father everyone. John was one of the first singers for Blade, and also wrote for this magazine a couple years ago.--N) It's been a while since I've graced these hallowed halls but I promised Nolan I would return with "Creatures Corner" so I will keep my promise. (Installment #1 for 2003 appearing next week --N)

First a quick note about all the buzzing that I've taken in since I've returned to this small, but extremely active piece of cyber-real estate. I guess Ashley Lauren has poked a stick into the beehive and rustled it up a bit. I haven't seen so much restless homopteran activity since the Monster From Green Hell. "New Hollywood" is still "Hollywood" so it surely has a place in this forum. After all, new movies are reviewed constantly on this site so why not new "Hollywood." It's a crazy, zany world in that community which feeds us our culture so I think it will be refreshing to see it covered from a young person's point of view. Heaven forbid it actually attract a new demograhic of readers.

We have to remember that we were all young at one time (I still am, one of the perks of being the "Creature") and for that reason alone we should welcome youthful vigor into the house. To ignore their feelings and dismiss what they have to say is a crime against humanity and you all know how we deal with that. Who is to blame for the thousands of teenagers who have never heard of Lon Chaney, Peter Lorre, Boris Karloff, and Lon Chaney Jr.

Can't blame 4E because he brought those people and their achievements to a youthful audience which we were lucky enough to be a part of. I talked to him about this in 1998 and we agreed it was a shame. It's up to us to teach the new generation about the things we hold dear and not turn our backs on them. Many won't care and that's okay. That's what makes us all free-thinking individuals. Rather than say "what we like is better than what you like, can't you see that? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU DAMN KIDS ANYWAY!!!" We can say "This is what we like and we think you'd like it to. Oh, by the way, Scream and Final Destination are cool, too."

Cheezy movies are cheezy movies, no matter what year they're made in. The Devil Bat is just as cheezy as Jeepers Creepers and I like them both. Then again, I have learned to enjoy movies with a bit of dairy product in them. Like ants who go nuts when their Pheromone trails are blocked by a twig, get over it and move on.

It's good to be back!!!
John Lewis
P.S. Everybody keep up the good work.

To send an email to Letters to the Editor write to: Crazedfanboy1@aol.com.  Any emails sent to this address will be assumed intended for publication unless you specifically instruct me not to. I can and do respond privately, if that is your preference. Frequently, it's both ways.---Nolan

"Mike's Rant" is ©2003 by Michael A. Smith    "Matt's Rail" is ©2003 by Matthew Drinnenberg    "La Floridiana" is ©2003 by William Moriaty    This week's movie review of "Malibu's Most Wanted" is ©2003 by Michael A. Smith    This week's movie review of "House of 1,000 Corpses" is ©2003 by Terence Nuzum    "Mad Matt's Plastic People" is ©2003 by Matt Cerrato    "Ashley Lauren's Hollywood" is ©2003 by Ashley Lauren Lewis    Add'l thanks to William Moriaty, Steve Beasley, Andy Lalino, Terence Nuzum, and John Lewis for their input in "Letters"      All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2003 by Nolan B. Canova

Webpage design and all graphics herein are creations of  Nolan B. Canova ©2003; all rights reserved.