PCR past banners Now in our fourth calendar year
PCR #176  (Vol. 4, No. 32)  This edition is for the week of August 4--10, 2003.

"A Tale of Two Cities: St. Petersburg and Tampa - - A Bay Separating A Gulf of Differences, PART 2"
by Will Moriaty
by Mike Smith
"The Return of Bruce Banner", "ZD TV, where are you now?" "26 Things"
by Vinnie B.
News topics, television, movies, One-shots, The Slush Pile
 by Brandon Jones
"Celebrities Uncensored"
 by Ashley Lauren
"Green Fire" and "Club Dead" reviewed
 by Teri Davis & Patty G. Henderson
 by John Lewis
Whatchoo talkin' about Arnold....Kobe and Mike....Hurray For Me....List #1....List #2....Hey, It Could Be About Me....Movie Notes
 by Mike Smith
Archives of Nolan's Pop Culture Review
Archives 2003
Archives 2002
Archives 2001
Archives 2000
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Sure, I was going to talk about the continued chaos of vacation and how it gives us the opportunity to waste even more of our “precious” time. Aside from the wonderful moments with the family, I managed to catch an old favorite “The Original Kings of Comedy” (the real launch pad of Bernie Mac’s career) and suffered through the dreaded Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever. I have nothing nice to say, just don’t bother.

Well, I planned to elaborate - banter about the distractions that we expose ourselves too, but alas, I cannot. No, not with some of the latest topics in the news - I know it is abnormal fodder for my column, but indulge me. I have to raise children in this deteriorating society.

No, it doesn’t surprise me that Joey will lead a spin-off from “Friends” or Reuben is suing to maintain copyright of those “205” shirts. No, this is about “Hurricane Jamal.” Yeah, I said it - Jamal. Or Keisha, whatever.

Rep. Sheila Jackson, a Democrat from Texas, is leading the charge that hurricane names are “too white” and “should represent all races.” Okay. In case anyone doubted that politicians have nothing more than personal agendas, now you know.

No, she’s not joking. Anyone want to know why racism topics even keep coming up? This is why! Does she have any real issues in Texas? I guess there’s nothing better to do than to protest naming these storms “Andrew” and “Wanda.” Hell, I moving to Texas. I must be a blissful, wonderful place to live.

Texas is finally out of the Top Ten in all of the major categories of crime. Okay, so they’re not in the Top 20 for Public Education, they are a top state for higher learning (i.e. Bachelor’s or Master’s Degrees). That’s something to brag about.

But maybe she’s right. Hurricane Jamal, hmmm, that’ll sound nice as it pummels South Florida. Aerial shots of suburban neighborhoods destroyed by “Hurricane DeShaun” and people losing their homes to “Hurricane Boomkeisha” (trust me, it’s on the list) - that’s just what we need to improve our race relations. Thanks Ms. Jackson, I’d never have thought of that.

Meanwhile, in Michigan, we have another strip club incident (I can’t call it an accident) involving a patron and a dancer. According to reports () David Buhler was enjoying the classy entertainment of the School House with a lap dance, who asked him if he wanted any of this. She then squeezed her breast, squirting him with a “milky substance”. I’ll stop there as the manager offered free passes, the police came, Buhler went to the hospital - (footnote to Seinfeld) yada, yada, yada. Doctors report that he appears to be in no imminent danger from her breast excretions (her named was revealed to be Kasey Ann Colvin).

Okay, so what disturbs you? First off: Kasey? How many strippers are named Kasey? I thought they were all had to had elaborate mystical names like Destiny or Crystal. Why didn’t Buhler know better? Visiting a strip club is like seeing the killer whale at Sea World, if you cross the blue line you are in the splash zone -- dude, get some goggles. Lastly, he said no to passes to return? What kind of policy is this? I know they hand out passes at the movie theater if the film breaks, but at a strip club. Are there free lap dance vouchers too?

Maybe, the latest “Freakshow” on FOX isn’t so bad after all. How many things can you pull out of someone, oh yeah, 101 - thanks FOX.

BTW, speaking of “The Smoking Gun”: if you can't guess the latest slang for heroin, you can with the latest Jane’s Addiction CD - check it out:

THE SLUSH PILE (Someone out there might want a little comic news, so...)

Star Wars: Clone Wars (The Defense of Kamino) - Need a “Star Wars” fix? This isn’t too bad. SW comics are notoriously lame and have little to offer, especially compared to the novels. This is a tale gapping episodes two and three, in which there is an attack on the cloning factory on Kamino. Jedis Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker defends the Republic’s factory while Mace Windu deals with a Rebellion of his own. Some Jedis don’t want to partake in the war and Mace attempts to persuade them. This storyline is more intriguing that the latter. A decent story, good art - very good by “Star Wars” standards.

Silver Surfer #1 relaunched with writer Dan Chariton and Stacy Weiss, art by Milx: I was never a huge Surfer fan, but Charitan and Weiss don’t focus on the hero but on a woman and her autistic daughter. The girl, Ellie, can’t return obvious feelings of affection and this causes a lot of pain as the Mother hopes of Ellie “returning” to our world. Ellie’s draws a mysterious silver alien, which are brilliantly brought to life by Milx, results in a unique interpretation of the character. I enjoyed the mystery of the Surfer, Norrin Radd, who is simply an alien, not some larger-than-life superhero. I don’t know if the title will continue to be engaging, but it’s off to a good start.

Arrowsmith #1: Kurt Busiek takes us to 1915 and the Europe is at war. Prussia is rampaging across the countryside with its unstoppable army and fiery giants. The United States of Columbia has not joined the fight except for the Overseas Aero Corps. Fletcher Arrowsmith fights against his father’s wishes to join the war effort as he dreams of flight. There are fantastic images of the soldiers, not superheroes, soaring through the air in the world full of magic. This is Busiek redefining history, not telling a fantasy comic, but bursts from the page with wonderful artwork. We will see where this tale goes in subsequent issues.


CrossGen “a big player in a short amount of time”: CrossGen gets a great write up in Florida Today, which profiles how different they are from the other publishers. As mentioned in the article, the CrossGen universe is full of fantasy characters not superheroes in tights. There is mention of great work done by penciler Greg Land and colorist Justin Ponsor. The article breaks down various projects by the Tampa-based company that has leaped to the number four spot for sales. DVDs, digital comics, the reading program and just the pure love of comics - this is CrossGen. Read the entire article at: http://www.floridatoday.com/!NEWSROOM/peoplestoryA7628A.htm

Re: VH1 List (particularly Princess Di on the Top Ten): Just goes to show how preposterous these lists have become. I understood why many of the “Icons” were on the list, just not WHERE they were on the list. Diana was joined by fellow icons Bill Clinton (18), John F. Kennedy Jr.(24), while his Dad JFK came in at number 32. Travolta was 28 edging James Dean who made it at 26. My wife was particular disappointed that Bono, of U2, placed a paltry 73. What was Sigmund Freud doing on the list? He did beat out Versace and Calvin Klein. VH1 can’t define “Icon” any better than EW could define “Cult.”

Movie Stuff

Hellboy sooner than later: The release date moved up to April 2 away from all that May fluff.

Depp in “Charlie”: To no one’s surprise, Johnny Depp may land the lead role in Tim Burton’s “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” A better choice than Christopher Walken, but isn’t Depp lined up to be Burton’s “Beetlejuice 2” and “Edward Scissorhands Strikes Back”?

Also likely to make Ashley Lauren happy (she’s hot for Depp), is the rumored sequel to “The Ring” - I guess I need to see the first one. Dreamworks announced the target release date of November 10, 2004, so mark those calendars.

But first, pencil in August 6, 2004 for 20th Century Fox’s “Alien vs. Predator.” Hey, that’s only a year away, I guess they need to hurry and get a cast - probably won’t matter.

Oh crap, wait, on June 11, 2004 Nicole Kidman, Matthew Broderick, Christopher Walken and Bette Midler will star in “The Stepford Wives.” John Cusack and his sister dropped out to join Tim Burton (he went to direct “Big Fish”) on the list of what-ifs. This is another example of Hollywood’s need for source material to make a feature film these days.

Did I mention “Gigli” made only $3-million in its first week? Hmm, how’s that taste Jen?

"Splash Page" is ©2003 by Brandon Jones.   Webpage design and all graphics herein (except where otherwise noted) are creations of Nolan B. Canova.  All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2003 by Nolan B. Canova.