PCR past banners Now in our fifth calendar year
PCR #238  (Vol. 5, No. 42)  This edition is for the week of October 11--17, 2004.

Book Review: "The Florida Night Sky" by Elinore DeWire
 by Will Moriaty
"Team America: World Police"
 by Mike Smith
Concert Review: THE PIXIES, w/The Thrills
  by Terence Nuzum
Fanzine Memoirs, Part 6, the Final Chapter....Desperate Housewives Score....TV Commercial Hall of Fame...Zombie 2004 Injection Remix
  by Vinnie Blesi
Professor Paul Bearer II: Post-Show Retrospective....Duran Duran New CD Release: "Astronaut"....Goodbye Rodney and Christopher....Rebecca McKinney
 by Andy Lalino
The Future is the Illustrious Five
 by Brandon Jones
The Lesbian Chronicles....Meanwhile, in the Batcave
 by Matt Drinnenberg
No Costume Needed....Good-Bye Cami....Oscar Note....Favorite Concerts....Meet The Beatles, Part 38
 by Mike Smith
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Splash Page

The Future is the Illustrious Five

Yes, I’ve written about them before and yes, I do have five children. The Jones Kids – The Illustrious Five. They are the future.

While some factions of Fandom want to stop time, if not rewind the clock, I look to the future. Sure they are somewhat responsible for the following: “Finding Nemo”, “Rolie Polie Olie”, Hillary Duff, the recycling of “Star Wars” action figures, Yu-Gi-Oh, the decline of comics and the success of video games.

Sure it’s scary, but Pop Culture isn’t dead, it’s just changing. If you want scary, take a look several years into the future.

The arrival of the “Earth Challenged”: Years after the revelation that life exists on other planets, the term “Alien” is banned as prejudiced. Ufologists are both excited and disappointed to discover that the EC resemble Ewoks from “The Return of the Jedi”. The EC won a lawsuit against Lucasfilm and ILM that their portrayal in ROTC stereotyped their species as weak, simple-minded and inferior. George Lucas filed Chapter 13 shortly thereafter.

The EC introduce radical technologies that change the dynamics of the planet as the value of soil skyrockets. US officials constantly struggle to secure their interests in Africa as nations jockey for power.

“Growing Up Lucas”: A reality show phenomenon profiling the eldest daughter of George Lucas. She discusses the arrival of aliens to earth and the fall of her father’s empire. Audiences tune in weekly to see if she create an entire feature film without the use of any CGI.

The suspense drama “Cloned” in which Abba Renegade tries to decipher clues to determine her alpha-counterpart as her biological matrix deteriorates. CBS execs are happy with the show. The ratings are strong as it follows the long time running comedy “Duff”.

“Rugrats 3” broke box office records for the year. Oscar nominations seem to be tainted by an outcry of fans that claim the original animated films never needed live action counterparts. The first two films cleaned up for special effects, sound and editing but did not bring home any of the top honors. Also up for consideration are: “Barry”, the biographical film about Barry Bonds, “The Cambodian Times”, based on the recent conflict abroad, and “When Harry Met Sally”, a remake of the classic comedy.

In other movie news, Marvel has announced a superhero series due to hit theaters in the next couple of years. A Marvel spokesperson claims that these films will not repeat the pathetic entries from early in the century. The first film is simply named after the main character, “Antman” which will star 5’6” Ryan Pinkston, who broke into Hollywood in 2004 in the TV series “Quintuplets.” Antman will battle a mysterious villain played by the aged superstar Gary Coleman, who saw a renewed career over the last decade.

With the upcoming election, debates have been heated between the incumbent George W. Bush and the up and coming Chelsea Clinton and the controversial Vice-President Kerry twins. Vanessa and Alexandra Kerry enraged opponents when asked about their plan to share duties. “Between the two of us, we guarantee that one of us will be working for the American people everyday of the year.” Critics say Bush takes so many vacations, that the twins represent a great commitment to the Middle Class.

In local sports news, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays are optimistic as they broke a franchise record with their 74th victory. Second year manager, Rocco Baldelli, said he’s proud of the team. “Their performance reminds me of my championship season is New York.” Baldelli is expected to be inducted into the Hall of Fame next season, but says the focus needs to on improving the team in the off-season. “We need one or two top pitchers and a right handed power hitter.” Baldelli refused comment on the ownership’s commitments to increase payroll.

My head is spinning….

To quote Jon Gruden: “The future is so bright, I gotta wear shades.”

Timbuk 3 has filed a lawsuit.

"Splash Page" is ©2004 by Brandon Jones.   Webpage design and all graphics herein (except where otherwise noted) are creations of Nolan B. Canova.  All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2004 by Nolan B. Canova.