LA FLORIDIANA Book Review -- "Ghosts of the Air: True Stories of Aerial Hauntings"  by William Moriaty

THIS WEEK'S MOVIE REVIEW "Kill Bill, Vol. 2"  by Mike Smith

THE DIGITAL DIVIDE Air....Walkmen....Xiu Xiu....Von Bondies  by Terence Nuzum

ODDSERVATIONS My Take On "Reinventing Horror Films"  by Andy Lalino

VINNIE VIDI VICI The Kill Bill Miracle....Donald Who?....Miss USA, Super-Soldier  by Vinnie Blesi

BLACK DOG Iraq....Resident Evil games  by Joshua Montgomery

MATT'S RAIL Andy's Forry Encounter....Amity island, Here I Come  by Matt Drinnenberg

MIKE'S RANT The Punishment....Trivial Knowledge....Meet The Beatles, Part 13  by Mike Smith

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Warning: the following contains satirical content and celebrity/political parodies and is meant for entertainment purposes only.

The Kill Bill Miracle, Donald who? and Miss USA, super soldier.

I must say I was a naysayer when I heard that people were reporting miracles after seeing that Jesus flick. Well, I am a naysayer no more! After seeing “Kill Bill Vol. 2” a miraculous transformation took place. I entered the theater a short, overweight middle-age man, and left a 6’3” 20-year-old male with abs of steel and a huge bulge in my jeans (unfortunately, that only turned out to be a pistol holstered to my groin). You would think I would have been transformed into an attractive tall blonde that kicks butt but then I wouldn’t have been able to use the pistol joke.

I have now erected a “Kill Bill” shrine in my front yard and souvenirs and T-shirts will be available for sale and a complimentary sushi bar will be available (I've got some left over cans of sardines in the pantry). Of course, Kool-Aid will be served.

So it seems that the American public have accepted this Donald guy as their latest pop icon. A really rich person, with bad hair (http://www.post-gazette.com/lifestyle/20040207donald0207fnp3.asp), he appears on the TV show, "The Apprentice" and has a catch phrase, “You’re Fired!”.

The distressing thing is that in these uncertain economic times, that “You’re Fired” is being embraced as some cute slogan like “Where’s the beef”. Losing your job is neither cute nor funny. Maybe it has to do with George W. Bush’s brainwashing of the public into thinking that he has created jobs and that they are plentiful. Ask anyone who has had to look for a job how plentiful they are.

In the recent Miss USA (sponsored by “The Donald”) contest, a brainiac blonde from Misery won the title, and she couldn’t wait for her first interview to tell everyone how much she supports the war in Iraq. Yea, as long as she isn’t over there risking her blonde ass and long legs. What happened to the good ole days when beauty queens took on worthwhile causes like child abuse? I say give her an automatic weapon, some goggles, and lets see how pretty she is after she gets the "Baghdad Boil". http://www.cnn.com/2004/HEALTH/04/18/baghdad.boil.ap/index.html

Miss USA I have just two words for you, “You’re Fired!”