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La Floridiana by Will Moriaty
   Now in our seventh calendar year
    PCR #313  (Vol. 7, No. 12)  This edition is for the week of March 20--26, 2006.

A City Called "Destiny"....Florida Indie Movies Review: "The Bite"  by William Moriaty
"Inside Man"  by Mike Smith
Live Evil Update....Congrats to Unearthed  by Mark Terry
Moore is no Joke....Suess Birthday....A "Blackification" Day  by Brandon Jones
God Bless....We Are Family....My Favorite Films -- Chapter 12: "Smokey and the Bandit"  by Mike Smith
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William Moriaty's Florida
More tales from "La Floridiana" await you in "William Moriaty's Florida"! For more information simply click the book cover above!

A City Called "Destiny"
75,000 More People Florida Needs Like a Hole in the Head

The out of control train that we call Florida is coming ever closer with its "destiny" with an environmental and infrastructure train wreck in a proposed Super City planned near current day Yeehaw Junction.

Brought to my attention by Florida Folk Hero and Tenth Generation Floridian Charlie Carlson, "Destiny" is a proposed city that would be larger than Melbourne, Florida in both size and population, land deveopment company Pugliese Company of Delray Beach is already sending their army of lobbyists to Tallahassee in order to cash in on the Osceola County real estate boom and according to the March 17, 2006 edition of the Orlando Sentinel "are pressing state legislators to add a provision to a bill about large-scale developments that would allow the creation of a town despite concerns about sprawl or whether a new city is even needed."

Well, of course...

To read more about this latest attempt to make Florida a sub tropical version of New York City, link to the Sentinel's article at http://www.orlandosentinel.com/orl-newcity1706mar17,0,5685203.story

Here's Charlie's more unabashed view of this proposal:

Looks like the death of Yeehaw Junction is near, it's going to become a big metropolis! Natives have always joked about Yeehaw Junction, because it's sort of symbolic of what Florida used to be like...But did you see this on yesterday's (March 17, 2006) news? The whole area has already been bought up!!! ( Yep, more land bites the dust to greed). It's sickening reading about this. Plus they propose renaming the area "Destiny". Soon, people will be able to say that they live in "Destiny, Florida"........'cause, God forbid, none of these new people, living in their "Upscale" new homes & community, would want a postmark or home address, that says "Yeehaw Junction, Florida" because that might sound too much like natural habitat...and we certainly can't have that!! Absolutely not, we need more concrete, cars, crime, water usage, garbage, and yes, developers need to make more money....

Florida Indie Movies Review

"The Bite"
2005: Color: 80 minutes
A Twisted Illusions, Inc., Falcon Video, Wynkoop Productions and 4th Floor Productions Present
A Wynkoop/Holseybrook Production
Written By: Joel D. Wynkoop and Phil Herman
Directed By: Joel D. Wynkoop and Chris C. Conklin
Executive Producers: Tim Ritter and Phil Herman
Line Producers: Phil Herman and Ryan Cavalline

Nick Hazzard.....JOEL D. WYNKOOP
Paul/Elijah......FRANK M. BURNS II
Madame Ora......NOEL MAREE
The Destroyer......MARK A. NASH
Jabber Jaw......WILLIAM AUGUST
Vampire 1/Closet Vampire/Rising Vampire/Orion......JACKIE JEROME
Vampire Woman/Evil......KAREN THOMAS
Messenger of Death......SERENA LORIEN
Mini Vampire......DAVE "THE DWARF" FLOOD
Hammer......TONY FATSO

Joel D. Wynkoop has probably starred in more Florida independent movies than any other actor in history.

This Florida Folk Hero has been the penultimate work horse of the Florida Indies film industry, having portrayed a plethora of leading and incidental characters in his close to two decade's tenure at this art.

"The Bite", Wynkoop's latest billing, was written, produced and directed by this exceptionally talented Minnesota native who at a very young age moved with his family down to Riviera Beach, Florida many years back.

In this latest offering, Wynkoop portrays martial arts militia man Nick Hazzard who is presumably chosen by God to declare on the forces of darkness in a post Apocalyptic world run amuck with vampires. These undead dead beats are subordinate to the whims, wishes and lusts of the evil overlord Elijah, portrayed by actor Frank M. Burns II.

Filmed in Tampa, Brandon and St. Petersburg, "The Bite" is an eclectic mix of narrative, flash backs, present time, intuitions and dreams. As is the staple with many Wynkoop's movies, much film time is devoted to protracted martial arts struggles between Hazzard and his adversaries, dead or imagined.

Guest appearances by Tampa Actor and fellow Florida Folk Hero Gustavo Perez, and actor Tony Fatso help keep the movie fast paced and prevent it from taking itself too seriously at times. Perez's supporting role as "Mr. Hero", a bumbling yet helpful sidekick of Hazzard's, reinforces Perez's underutilized talent for comedy acting where he is often at his most animated and entertaining. Fatso portrays street wise gang boss "Hammer" who leads his own personal entourage against the undead while profiting from his own shaky association with Elijah.

M. Catherine Holseybrook, Wynkoop's real life wife, portrays Hazzard's wife Kathy Webber, who is the first person that Wynkoop must kill in order to ensure that she does not infect the remainder of the living not yet victims of "The Bite".

Known for his often over-the-top portrayals of characters such as wayward law enforcement officer Gus Kimball (who is credited at the end of this movie as a member of the "Security Crew") in "Dirty Cop No Donut", deranged institutionalized escapee Mr. Longfellow in the "Scary Tales" anthology and super spy "Fritz" in Gustavo Perez's "Light of Blood", Wynkoop's portrayal of Hazzard is by contrast somewhat somber, subdued and at times strangely distant.

Just like you can count on the sun to rise in the east each morning, you can always count on Joel D. Wynkoop to turn in yeoman service through thick and thin by his commitment to keep Florida's Indies movies on the radar screen and in our hearts and minds.

"Nobody, nobody calls me Nicholas!"- Nick Hazzard

"La Floridiana" is ©2006 by William Moriaty.  Webpage design and all graphics herein (except where otherwise noted) are creations of Nolan B. Canova.  All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2006 by Nolan B. Canova.