It really seems like crazy stuff happens to me from time to time. Usually the things that happen are not too bad. This week I wanted to tell the story of what happened to me out here. It really doesn't have anything to do with movies or being a fan of anything. Its just kind of strange and funny.
As a lot of you know I moved from Clearwater, Florida to Anaheim, California in August, 2004. It was one hell of a long road trip. After being in Anaheim for 6 months I got my Florida Drivers License change to a California one. Something I also do for fun is take ridiculous pictures for these usually bad snap shots. I either try to make them real goofy or make it look like a thug because me and my brother always thought that was funny. I figure if those pictures are going to usually be bad anyway, why not make them ridiculous.
So here we go with the story. On March 31st, 2006 I was sitting up late at my house bored. All my roommates were in the garage playing their guitars. I knew I was going to get any sleep again. I called a buddy of mine and ask him if he wanted to meet me at Commerce Casino to play some Texas Hold'em. He said sure. Commerce Casino is kind of like Seminole Indian Casino and is located maybe 30+ miles south east of where I live in North Hollywood.
I get to Commerce and don't see my friend anywhere. Its really a big place. I got to the 200 dollar buy in No-Limit table and sit with the whales. I never saw my friend anywhere. I got up from the poker and went to the bathroom. On my walk back I got a call from a friend named Jessica. Or that's what I am going to call her.
Now Jessica is recently separated from her husband. I met her through a friend of a friend at my old job in Anaheim. She is real good friend and always cheers me up. I guess her ex came back to her house to pick up the kid and she wanted to get out of there too. It was already past midnight but I told her to come down to the Casino to hang out. She only lives 10 minutes away.
I played for a little bit longer against the whales and eventually went all in. I made a little bit of cash and decided since Jessica was there now it was time to take off. The problem is where do you go at 2am or so on a Friday night.
I was getting really tired. I didn't want to drive back to the house. We sure as shit could not go back to Jessica's house either. I made the suggestion of getting a hotel with some of the cash I made instead of driving back. Jessica agreed.
We drove down the road and decided to stay at a little bit seedy hotel called the Nite Inn. When we got there we went into the hotel room, watch a bit of a movie, and pretty much went to bed.
Now here is where it gets weird. Fast forward to last Monday. I get an email out of the blue from the North Hollywood Police Department saying I am a subject to a Felony case that is pending. I thought it was some kind of joke. Why would the police department send me an email? I thought it might be a joke from back home. I looked at the IP address and it did check out to be from the NHPD. Also the detective on the case has a picture online.
I called up from my work hitting *67 first because I wasn't sure what was going on. The operator put me in touch with the detective. When I got on the phone with him he asked me if I was at a Nite Inn with a girl on March 31st. I told him at first I wasn't sure because I work in the entertainment industry and stay at hotels all the time. Which isn't exactly a lie either. The detective said someone a girl I met off the internet site www.craigslist.com is pressing felony charges on me for that night at the hotel. He continued in saying that I would not be arrested on spot but only questioned if I came down. I did ask why did they email me instead of calling. They only had my old information from Anaheim.
Well, right away I think it has something to do with Jessica and her Ex Husband. I am thinking she is trying to pin me with some bullshit rape charge. That's not something in life you even want to get accused of at all. I called her up and she had no idea what was going on. She sounded more shocked than me. I was getting very nervous to what was going on. It's weird when you get accused of something wrong even though you never did anything how squirmy you can get. Jessica also offered to go with me to the station but I told her I would rather go myself.
I set up a time to meet with the detective the next day.
The next day rolls around and I go into the police station. The detective comes to the front desk and shakes my hand. He leads me back to some small interrogation room with a one way mirror. It was like a movie. I kind of almost started to laugh. When I walk in to the room there is my drivers license picture blown up on the wall. In the picture I got some ridiculous smirk on my face very similar to the main picture I have on my myspace.com site. I started laughing even more.
We sat down and I told him the whole story above as I have just told all of you. The detective told me that charges were being pressed against me for grand theft by a girl I knew. Here is a paraphrased description of what the detective said I did:
"Mark the accuser said you met her off craigslist.com, got a hotel with her ,and had one hell of a night. You guys stayed up smoked weed, got drunk, and do everything else a couple does in a hotel. This was the first time you ever met her. She said when she woke up in the morning you were gone. The only thing that was left was dirty pair of underwear. Before you left, you took $850 cash out of her purse and all her jewlery."
Now as everyone knows I don't drink or smoke. So right there I was still laughing. This guy must of thought I was an asshole. The detective pulled out a picture of the girl who was accusing me. He pulls out a picture of some skinny, black, crack whore looking chick. I just about lost it in there laughing. I told the detective that I can't wait to tell my friends this one. He asked me to make a statement:
"Detective, I know this is going to sound like a cliche' but I have NEVER seen this girl in my life. I don't even know any black people. I was in the hotel with someone totally different. Its a mystery to me how she knows who I am and what my name is."
The meeting ended with the detective saying she filed her complaint but never came in to give a following statement. He also mentioned that in a weeks time if she didn't come in he was going to close the case. Its been a week now. I called the North Hollywood Police Department today and the detective on the case is on vacation today. What a joke!
Here is a little message I would like to send out to the North Hollywood Police Department:
"As you know in LA there are gangs, drug dealers, and some of the worst killers in the world. We have people sneaking over the boarder everyday then lining up in the streets protesting about getting their equal rights. Ask around, check my records, give me a drug test or do whatever the hell you else you want to do. I understand there are always errors or misunderstandings, but this is a flat out joke. Blow me."
End of story!
"My Middle Toe Is Longer Than Yours" is ©2006 by Mark Terry. Webpage design and all graphics herein (except where otherwise noted) are creations of Nolan B. Canova. All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2006 by Nolan B. Canova.