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Nolan's Pop Culture Review 2007!
Established A.D. 2000, March 19. Now in our eighth calendar year!
Number 359  (Vol. 8, No. 6). This edition is for the week of February 5--11, 2007.

The Weirdness Continues...

by Mike Smith


by Paul Guzzo

The Former Oliva Cigar Factory To Host Art & Film

by Andy Lalino

FAIL! FAIL! ROCK & ROLL! .... Monty Python Invades Tampa (sort of): Spamalot!

by Mike Smith

The Stars At Night Are Big And Bright .... While You've Got Them Crossed .... Very Creative .... Let The Wookie Win .... 3Vs and David Lee .... Passing On .... Congratulations .... May 22, 2008 .... Whatever Happened To...? Chapter 6: Geoffrey Lewis

OK, so last week, I was mumbling something about flying blocks of ice from space and weird fish stories, right? Well, those little surprises were annhilated by the three-tornado cold front suffered by Floridians last Friday, to be followed up in the last coupla days by the female astronaut up on murder charges. First things first.

It's A Twister!
As a major cold front swept through our area (central Florida) last Thursday/Friday, the gusty winds and howling rain were a test of anyone's metal, even an old Tampa salt like myself. But then reports started coming in about more damaging effects of the storm in the northern parts of the state from The Villages to Daytona sometime during the wee hours of Friday morning.

As morning broke and news crews went out to the scene, the true extent of the cataclysm was revealed. The news helicopter images alone were horrifying. A half-mile wide swath of utter destruction continued through four counties (!) and evoked comparisons to Hurricane Andrew. Evidently, they were hit with a tornado, the experts said, an "F3" (gusts of 167mph possible), and one that was on the ground for a record amount of time.

A further correction stated that we had no less than three tornadoes, two F3s and one F1 (winds from 80 to 100mph), starting in Lady Lake, FL, moving through Delan, a new one starting there, then out to Daytona where the final one touched down briefly.

Twenty people are reported dead. Several homes were damaged or destroyed, several condos and strip malls damaged or destroyed, and every trailer park is gone. Four counties. Florida is setting way too many meteorological records for my taste. Governor Crist declared a state of emergency for the counties involved and the outpouring of help towards the homeless from the public has been encouraging, even inspiring.

Yes, the favorite mantras regarding "global warming" were trotted out to help explain the severity of the storms, and while that's certainly a contributor, our old friend El Niño is the more likely culprit.

Letters to the Editor "Lust in Space" or "The Dark Side of The Loon"
OK, so I stole those headers from the NY Post and NY Daily News, 'cuz I couldn't think of a cleverer title myself, haha. I'm sure you've all heard the news by now of one of the most bizarre love triangle stories in that it involves NASA astronauts of some repute.

Lisa Nowak, winner of several Navy service awards, astronaut aboard the shuttle Discovery, and mother of three has been arrested for the attempted kidnapping and attempted murder of presumed romantic rival Colleen Shipman. Now hold on, it gets weirder from here.

Lisa, who's supposedly been stalking Shipman for months (according to Shipman), drove all the way from Texas to the Orlando International Airport to confront the woman over her supposed romantic involvement with fellow astronaut, 41-year-old Navy commander William Oefelein (OH-fuh-line) who also lives in Texas. She was in such a hurry, that on the trip to Florida, Nowak wore astronaut's diapers (think Depends for outer-space) so she wouldn't have to stop and urinate (!).

Then, according to police, at the airport, Nowak donned a wig and trench coat, boarded an airport shuttle bus with Shipman and followed her to her car. Crying, Nowak sprayed a chemical into the car. Shipman drove to a parking lot booth and sought help.

Inside Nowak's car police found pepper spray, a BB-gun, a new steel mallet, knife and rubber tubing. Enough, they say, to charge her with attempted murder. According to Nowak's attorney, Nowak was merely trying to "scare Shipman into talking". Yet for all this trouble, when police asked Nowak about her relationship with Oefelein, she said it was ""more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship."

At the time of this writing, Oefelein's actual relationship with either woman is still unclear.

Nowak was released on a $25,000 bond, must wear ankle-bracelet monitoring devices, and must remain at least 500 feet away from Colleen Shipman.

Note to NASA: I'll admit this is a freak turn of events, but I think this case suggests we need to excercise a little more vigorous pre-screening protocols, especially now that there are more female astronauts and "inter-office romances" (if you will) could upset the space applecart.

"This is the Space Shuttle to Mission Control: Bill stood me up Saturday night, so I'm gettin' even by crashing this bucket of bolts into his house from space!! IF I CAN'T HAVE HIM, NOBODY WILL!!"

(NOTE: after the above article was published, it was reported that NASA had indeed decided there would be a re-examination of the astronaut pre-screening process.)

Please consider making a donation to help support Crazed Fanboy! Click on the "donate" link below and give whatever you can. I sincerely thank you for any and all consideration.---Nolan
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"Mike's Rant" is ©2006 by Michael A. Smith     "La Floridiana" is ©2006 by William Moriaty     "This Week's Movie Review" is ©2006 by Michael A. Smith    "Oddservations" is ©2006 by Andy Lalino    "Filmlook" is ©2006 by Paul Guzzo      All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2006 by Nolan B. Canova    
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