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   Now in our tenth calendar year
    PCR #509  (Vol. 10, No. 52)  This edition is for the week of December 21--27, 2009.

"Sherlock Holmes"  by Mike Smith
A Very Fanboy Christmas 2009  by ED Tucker
Sex in Japan: How To Have A Truly Merry Christmas  by Jason Fetters
The Top 30 Sci-Fi, Fantasy and Horror Actresses, #12-9  by Lisa Scherer
My 10 Favorite Films of the "00" .... A Very Merry Big Box Christmas .... Christmas @ The Waters Chick-Fil-A  by John Miller
Browns Hire Holmgren .... Goodbye 1 And 15, Hello 2 And 14 .... Bruce Allen Hired By Redskins .... Saints Go Down .... Urban Meyer Resigns .... Top Sports Talk Topics Of The Year .... New Segment On Sports Talk .... by Chris Munger
Final Thoughts .... The Year In Review: Part Ii .... Next Year .... But Mike, What About... .... .... .... .... .... My Favorite Films, Part 2 by Mike Smith
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Lampin at the 6th Borough by John Miller

My 10 Favorite Films of the "00"

Freddy Got Fingered - Arguably the worst film in the history of celluloid. Incoherent, stupid, amateurish, repulsive and absolutely brilliant. Me and my friends used to spend twelve hours a night at work quoting this movie. You just cant beat watching Tom Green suck off a horse, dancing around in the corpse of roadkill before getting smashed by a truck, working in a cheese sandwich factory with a sausage between his legs and Rip Torn as his psychotic father. This movie is an underrated masterpiece and I will stand by that claim.

Bowling For Columbine - Michael Moore's inflammatory masterpiece about America's obsession with gun violence. Possibly the most debated film of all time and certainly one of the most controversial. Regardless of how one feels about Moore's politics there is no denying the mans skill behind the camera. My only complaint about this film is the unfair villifying of Charleton Heston (one of my favorite actors, btw) but at the same time it is Moore's willingness to be unfriendly that makes his films so good. For a movie so widely hated, Moore has managed to spawn a generation of bastard documentary filmmakers bent on biting his unique style, even his enemies have a bit of Moore's influence in their works.

There Will Be Blood - This film makes no apologies about being a hardcore viewing experience. Daniel Day Lewis is incredible as a hillbilly oil man climbing the ranks by any means necessary. DDL reminds me kind of a modern day DeNiro. He is selective about his roles and his appearance in front of the camera lends credibility to any film he is apart of. Paul Thomas Anderson proves himself once again as one of this generations definitive filmmakers.

Kill Bill - I know this selection will be a controversial pick amongst fanboy circles. But let me say this, any film featuring the likes of David Carradine, Sonny Chiba, Gordon Liu, Michael Madsen, Sid Haig, Bo Svenson and other assorted genre favorites along with a score crafted by none other then legendary hip hop producer / founder of The Wu-Tang Clan, The Rza, has to be good. Tarantino wears his fandom on his sleeve and I appreciate that. I was hooked on this movie the second I heard Nancy Sinatra's Bang Bang in the opening credits.

Inglorious Basterds - Tarantino again and possibly his best film to date. Everything about this picture is beautiful even when it is ugly. An obvious love letter to the likes of Sergio Leone, so much so that I could have sworn that one of the songs was just a rendition of the theme from The Good The Bad And The Ugly. Brad Pitt is awesome as the leader of the Basterds and proves once again that he is much more then tabloid fodder.

Million Dollar Baby - Clint Eastwood is one of my favorite filmmakers cause I know anything he makes is going to be top notch. Controversial in its subject matter, Million Dollar Baby manages to be entertaining and completely depressing at the same time.

Grand Torino - I have a love / hate relationship with this one. Eastwood delivers on all fronts basically paying homage to himself and giving the fans one last look at the type of character we love him for. At the same time the dialogue is weak and the supporting cast is bland and typical. The acting is almost laughable, especially the church guy. At the same time, the film pulls itself together, mainly thanks to Eastwood and by the time the credits role you realize you have just witnessed something great.

OldBoy - Soon to be remade (or rumored to be) by crud peddlers Steven Spielberg and Will Smith. Old Boy is a poetic revenge film with a grindhouse attitude and visually looks and feels like Fight Club (least that's what it reminded me of). I could have done without the occasional bits of CGI but that is a minor flaw. Bone crushing, blood gushing, flesh pounding fun with a little bit of heart.

Shottas - Starring a who's who of Jamaican celebs and directed by an amatuer filmmaker who refuses to spill the beans about how he afforded to fund this film, Shottas is a throw back to films like The Harder They Come with homage's to such classics as Scarface, The Killer and Belly. Although a little weak in spots, Shottas is just what the doctor ordered for those that enjoy these types of films.

The Devil's Rejects - Like a few other films on this list, The Devils Rejects is short on originality and strong on paying tribute to better films of yesterday. Ripping off scenes from everything from The Guantlet to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. Rob Zombie manages to stay much more focused this time around and gives us some of modern horrors most beloved villains. Even though I think it is unfair to label such a film as horror, more like a suspense thriller or something. It's a tragedy Zombie has strayed so far from his roots and sold out to the Hollywood remake machine, following up with awful Halloween movies. I still think he has the potential to be the next John Carpenter but only time will tell. In the mean time atleast we have Rejects to hold us over.

Honorable mentions that could have made my top 10 list: Idiocracy, Fahrenheit 911, The Passion Of The Christ, Monster, Punisher: War Zone, Jackass, Team America, Borat, The Hangover, Iron Man, The Dark Knight, Once Upon A Time In Mexico, Blade 2, X-Men 2, Planet Terror, 28 Days Later, Mystic River, Hostel, Freddy Vs. Jason (yeah, I said it) and probably a hundred more that I've forgotten and will probably remember shortly after submitting this issue.

A Very Merry Big Box Christmas
Couple days ago I drifted over to the local Target store to score a few toys for the kid-0's and various family members and friends. I didn't realize it would require a Power Ball-winning miracle to afford a few cheaply-made Chinese gifts for loved ones.

Browsing the isles of the toy section I had to wonder what kid could possibly be worth the high cost of Christmas? No wonder the people of this country are buried under such useless debt. Are companies so hard up that they really need to charge thirty bucks here and forty dollars there for a generic piece of plastic that's going to fall apart by New Years? My pockets were feeling so hollow that if someone put their ears against them they could probably hear the ocean.

Time is money, especially family time. It is no wonder conservatives parade their made-up holiday controversies every year around this time. What better excuse to peer pressure poor working class schlubs into over spending their hard-earned cash on items they would otherwise not need than the birth of Jesus.

If you ask me, Christmas has overstayed its welcome in this country. Not that there is anything wrong with its premise, spend time with family, eat turkey and swine, all of that is fun and good. But honestly, that can take place any day of the year. I'm sorry, but when I feel goaded into buying gift cards for relatives I only see once a year, then it's a problem. Especially when all you are really doing is exchanging twenty dollar AppleBee's (or any big corporation of your choice) gift cards with one another. How bout I keep my money and you keep yours and let's call it a day.

Christmas @ The Waters Chick-Fil-A
Before I get accused of trying to abolish Christmas and being the PCR Grinch, I'd like to show readers a few pictures I snapped at this awesome Chick-Fil-A on Waters Ave. in Tampa. Enjoy your holidays, stay safe, and I'll catch up with you on the flip side.

"Lampin' @ The 6th Burrough" is ©2009 by John Miller.  Webpage design and all graphics herein (except where otherwise noted) are creations of Nolan B. Canova.  All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2009 by Nolan B. Canova.