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Now in our tenth calendar year!
PCR #508 (Vol. 10, No. 51). This edition is for the week of December 14--20, 2009.

"Up In the Air"
Time Warp Toy Box ’09 – Part 3  by ED Tucker
Ninja Assassin  by Jason Fetters
Intro 2 Lampin' .... My Letter To Tiger Woods  by John Miller
Chad Ochocinco: Nfl’s Black Sheep? .... Steelers Out? .... Holmgren Returns .... Cowboys Vs Saints .... Bob Greise Says Lose One .... Tiger Woods: Athlete Of The Decade?? .... .... by Chris Munger
Guess Who Died? .... The Year That Was Part I .... .... .... .... .... .... .... My Favorite Films, Part 2  by Mike Smith
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Sports Talk

Chad Ochocinco: NFL’s Black Sheep?
Well, once again the Cincinnati Bengals’ outspoken Wide Reciever Chad Ochocinco decided to celebrate after a touchdown by putting on a sombrero and a poncho after his score. I know, I know, how dare him right? And once again, he was fined by the NFL. His last celebration or antic, whatever you wish to call it, was walking up to a referee with a dollar bill to try to bribe him when he was watching the replay of Ochocinco’s touchdown catch. That cost Ochocinco $10,000. But the sombrero incident cost him $30,000 this time. That’s an average game check for most players in the NFL. But to Chad Ochocinco, that’s money well spent by keeping up with the surprises. He was asked if he was ever threatened of a suspension from the league, and he said no, and he doesn’t play the game for money, but for fun and could careless about being fined, and that he essentially wouldn’t believe the league would do such a thing. That remains to be seen. In the meantime, Chad Ochocinco will continue to surprise us with his elusive touchdown celebrations, and I for one think that the NFL should stop fining players for their celebrations. It’s another element of entertainment during the game.

Steelers Out?
The Cleveland Browns. The team that kicked the Defending World Champions out of defending their crown in the playoffs this year. The Browns are one of the bottom-feeders in the league this year, and are just an inch better than the Buccaneers. Yet they took advantage of the spiraling Pittsburgh Steelers, who can’t seem to win a game to save their hides. For a World Champion team, this has got to be embarrassing, but don’t worry Pittsburgh, we here in Tampa know your pain. The Bucs went 5-11 defending their crown in 2003, and haven’t recovered ever since.

Holmgren Returns
So, he’s coming back. The elusive Mike Holmgren wants a General Manager position in the NFL. He led the Green Bay Packers to a Super Bowl victory during the ‘96 season, and an unsuccessful title defense in the ‘97 season against the Denver Broncos. He’s also credited with making Brett Favre, Brett Favre. After his glorious years in Green Bay, he spent the next ten years in Seattle. He developed Matt Hasselback who led the Seahawks to a Super Bowl. Now he wants the keys to the Cleveland Browns. A lot of people out there are saying that Holmgren is only flirting with the Browns to get the GM job in Seattle, where he lives and used to coach for ten years. But even if he did get the Seahawks’ GM position, he wouldn’t have complete control like he would in Cleveland. Expect Holmgren to take a position in Cleveland like Bill Parcells has in Miami. An overseer if you will. That’s the best fit for Mike Holmgren. Browns’ Head Coach Eric Mangini better get his resume together if Holmgren comes to town though, that guy hasn’t had a winning season since 2003.

Cowboys Vs Saints
Sometimes the old dumb jock cliché holds true these days. That was proven when Dallas Cowboys’ WR Roy Williams (who’s supposed to fill Terrell Owens’ shoes) was interviewed and was asked about the Cowboys’ next game against the undefeated New Orleans Saints. He stupidly called the Saints the Undefeated Super Bowl Champions. He was then asked if the Saints were in fact the Super Bowl Champs, and he said “Well they might as well be.“, They’re undefeated, we don’t have a chance.“ There are two things you just don’t do in the NFL, 1.) Don’t take steroids and 2.) Don’t capitulate to the opponent before playing the game. Roy Williams is a dumb-ass and wasn’t ready to be interviewed. I guess you don’t get a lot cameras in your face when you suck in Detroit. That would be Roy’s former team for those of you who don’t know. Two weeks ago, the Cowboys were 8-3 and leading their division race. Now, they are 8-5 and will miss the playoffs this year if they lose to the Saints. Having your top receiver telling the world that your going to lose this game is not a good sign.

Bob Greise Says Lose One
Bob Greise was the Quarterback of the only NFL team to go undefeated in a whole season, the 1972 Miami Dolphins. This week he gave the two undefeated teams in the NFL this year (Colts and Saints) some advice. Lose One. Griese said losing one would get the monkey off your back, and your team would come back and fight after a loss if they are really that good. Plus you don’t want to go all the way to the last game (The Super Bowl) and lose it. Just ask the 2007 Patriots who went undefeated in the regular season and playoffs and lost the Super Bowl. But is this advice from someone who has something to gain from both undefeated teams losing? Or just an “I told you so”? Griese was the quarterback of the only team to go undefeated in NFL history, and probably doesn’t want that record broken. But maybe he is lending some friendly advice. That remains to be seen, but both teams most likely want to go undefeated and could end up in the Super Bowl together. Wouldn’t that be great? New feats seem to happen in twos in the NFL, just like the first Super Bowl to have a black head coach in it, had two. Lovie Smith of the Bears and Tony Dungy of the Colts. So why couldn’t two undefeated teams meet in the Super Bowl for the first time?

Tiger Woods: Athlete Of The Decade??
Oh yeah, you read that right, Tiger Woods has been named athlete of the decade, of the 2000’s. Not that I’m trying to take anything away from his mega-career or anything, he is a golfing great. But athlete? Maybe. Athlete of the Year? No way. Lance Armstrong came in second, and should’ve won in my book. Athletes constantly move around. Athletes play football, basketball, baseball (even that’s a stretch), hockey, tennis, rugby, swimming, track, volleyball and gymnastics, even Jai Lai. Plus a 100 more sports I haven’t named. Those people that play those sports are real athletes, not a bunch of rich guys that hold a stick that costs more than a brand new Mercedes to hit a ball in hole. If we were going to call golfers athletes, let not exclude this years’ Jackson, Michigan Shuffleboard Champion. I mean he would be considered an athlete too right? Golf is a mind game, like chess or checkers, yeah you have to hit the ball right to win, but that’s all you gotta do. You don’t have to move around back and forth up and down a field or court or a swimming pool. Lance Armstrong should’ve won Athlete of the Year. I mean yeah, it’s easy to ride a bike for a long time with one nut, but 6 straight Tour De France Championships is something that will never happen again. And I dare anyone to try and beat Michael Phelps’ 8 Gold Medals in a single Olympics’ competition. But I guess this is a light at the end of the spinning tunnel for Tiger. All of the stories that are coming out about him now has me wondering if Tiger should’ve skipped golf and became a porn-star. He would be fulfilling his alleged sicko fantasies everyday, plus he already has a great name for a porn star am I right? I can see it now…..’Tiger’s Wood’ starring Tiger Woods.

"Sports Talk" is ©2009 by Christopher Munger.   All graphics this page, except where otherwise noted, are creations of Nolan B. Canova.  All contents of Nolan's Pop Culture Review are ©2009 by Nolan B. Canova.